Tuesday, August 29, 2006

Random thoughs 3

10. Maybe if I was getting some quality di%^, I would not write about sex so much in this blog.
9. Why is mainstream porn becoming more and more graphic.
8. I should of moved back home after graduation. I would of saved sooo much money.
7. Why are fruit and vegetables so expensive. These two are the most important of all foods to eat to ensure good health,longevity and a healthy weight.
6.Which leads to: Americans are soooo big. Everywhere I go I see fat/overweight/obese people.
5. Bush is just beginning to see that there is a civil war waiting to happen in Iraq, wtf.
4. Damn, the President of Iran really had Mike Wallace piping hot. I hope I wasn't the only one to see it on 60 minutes.
3. Am I the only woman who has never had sex in a car or outside period?
2. Do I talk about Flava of Love to much?
1. Why is American culture so saturated with tabloids and celebrities( Paris Hilton for example) ?

P.S. Am I the only one who was surprised that Paris's album is as good as it is.

Friday, August 25, 2006

You might be a Ghetto Girl if (aka the Negroes that Bill Cosby does not like).

Public transportation is a bit&* . Whenever I use it I find myself being exposed to all types of people. Unlike other cities that I've been to, public transportation in Baltimore allows you access to the worst in Baltimore on a much larger scale. A few of the bus lines(bus #8 is for example) in Baltimore are known for their lively entertainment shows of junkies doing to the sleep-walk-lean-stand dance, cell phone talkers airing all of their bushiness and wineno pornstars(no lie, I've see drunks masturbate on the bus two separate times).
This post however is dedicated to a special set of public transportation users, the Ghetto girls aka (1/2)the black folk that Bill Cosby keeps talking about. Sisters please stop being a source of embarrassment to your people. Carry yourself in a ladylike(a twist of feminism is okay)manner. With the behavior that many of you exhibit you have a hard time gaining respect from your own people, much less mainstream America.

1. Your idea of a good man is someone who has been to prison. If you come across a man who has not been to prison you accuse him of acting white(wtf). No queen, a man who has not been to prison is acting responsible.

2. You refuse to date a man with a 9-5. Only a drug dealer(aka street corner pharmacist)will due because you enjoy the excitement of possibly having your face blown off by a bullet which was intended for your drug dealer boyfriend.

3. You think that living in the hood and all of the atrocities that you find there are symbols of keeping it real. No Queen, many poor black inner city neighborhoods are war zones. Better yet they are areas in which African-Americans are waging a civil war amongst themselves. Any other group of people who experience this type of trauma call on the United Nations for help. Lost people like yourself, call on MTV so you can be given a chance to brag to the world how *cool* your people are(dumbass).

4. In the year 2006 you act as if you don't know that having sex without any type of birth control is like playing Russian roulette(spell). You will eventually find yourself knocked up.

5. You are a ghetto girl who is smart enough to know that you are not ready for any children(or anymore than you already have)but you use the wrong type of *birth control*. My dear, abortion is not a type of birth control. Having a shit load of abortions is not cute. I heard of someone having almost a dozen abortions, so yes this does happen.

6. Another bred of Ghetto Girls think its wrong to have an abortion under any circumstances. Yet these same girls will being a child into the world without a pot to piss in or a window to through it out of. They go on abuse their children because they didn't really want them to begin with.

7. Having a lot of children by different men is not cute. Why let so many different men ejaculate in your body so freely( wrap it up).

8. Screaming at your children in public at the top of your lungs does not qualify as a form of discipline.

9. Just because a man buys you one of the following does not mean he loves you: a cheese steak, a chicken box or a happy meal.

10. For those of you who are overweight, please don't wear clothes which are not meant for your body type. Half shirts are not meant for big gut(stomachs) women, cover that ish up. Those of you who have had babies, and you have that stamp across your stomach, cover up. No one wants to see those stretch marks(worms) across your stomach, ish looks like an atlas,so not cute. Further more, most men are turned off by a big stomach because it makes them think of pregnancy. You can be big and attractive if you dress appropriately.

11. Please stay of the walkie talkie(or whatever there called) cell phones in public. No one wants to hear how your baby father isn't shit or how little Day-Day ate you out last night.

12. You call Clearance Thomas a sellout, but can't understand how most of those jokers on MTV are sellouts too.

13. Whenever white folk are around you feel the need to act out. You must become the loudest, non manners having, venomous tongued woman in the vicinity.

14. You don't understand why it is important to speak standard English when you are not around your people. Let me explain why, because besides your people no one else can understand African-American English( also known as ebonics). For example, In the same way that the neighborhood convenience store owners speak Korean amongst themselves, they speak
English to you because they are well aware that can cannot speak or understand Korean.

15. Stop wearing bad weaves. It makes you look as if you are very insecure with the natural texture of your hair. Some of you wear hair that is so straight that when I look at you I'm confused, is she African-American or a dark skinned Indian(from India).

16. You are allergic to school. You never read books( I promise you won't break out in a rash if you do), not even the street lit, Zane or E.Lynn Haris which are the staples of the semi -literate Ghetto Girl's book collection .

17. You are currently working a low wage job(fast food, drug store)and are pregnant again wtf. How far can you stretch $6.15 per hour.You will really struggle to get out of poverty now.

18. At your public service low wage job you treat the customers poorly for no reason. Or you stand around and talk loudly about why you hate your job and when you are going to quit. One of the people you disrespect could be the person who will interview you for a job one day. Most importantly, its not their fault your life sucks.

19. You meet a man at 9:00 pm in the club and at 9:15 you are giving him a BJ in the corner of the club.

20. You have never traveled to the other side of the city much less outside of the city or even the country.

21. You house or apartment is soooo filthy dirty nasty(not messy) that the mice play hockey with the crumbs left on the floor. You have the nerve to invite people inside of this public health nightmare.

If you can answer yes to 7 of the above, you my dear are a ghetto girl. Please seek help immediately, your local library will be able to help you.

Thursday, August 24, 2006

Guess Who Called II and a Post Revisited?

Green Card Gary also known as NWG(Nigerian without a Greencard). Before I left DC to come back to Baltimore last week, I told NWG that I would visit him again. Well it seems homeboy is looking forward to my next visit(?). He even had the nerve to tell me that he wanted me to spend the night. I told him, hell no. I don't think(scratch that, I know) I will not have sex with him any time soon. I didn't meet him with the same intentions that I had for the swinger. Besides, he does not have the look of a man who can work it well in the bed. Ladies know what I'm talking about. I've already told him there is no way I can marry him, but he has taken to telling me he loves me. Actually, he was telling me he loves me after the second phone call. Naja men, please explain, is it normal in Nigeria for a man to tell a woman he loves her so soon after meeting her, and if so, what for. Don't worry about me falling for the BS, I don't believe him.

Remember that post from July about black men hating black women. Well check him out www.blackwomenhateme.com personally I think he has a lot of issues, but check him out for yourself.

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

A Big Booty(Sure wish I had one).

Ok, I am going to make this my last post on big booties but daaaaaag. Did you see episode three of Flava of Love. Delicious' booty is out the door and around the corner. Even the women in the restaurant were looking and making comments. When you got a booty like this the men RUN, not come but RUN to you. I have a friend who told me about a homegirl of hers who has a booty like Delicious + extra. She said that when she attends clubs with her she has never had to buy a drink. As a matter of fact men are willing to do almost anything to get next to her.
Men are so crazy. I wonder, do women behave the same way to get next to a man with a big d%^k?

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

The Date

On Thursday I went to DC for a date. I met my date through an online dating site. He and I had been talking on the phone for about 3 months before we picked a day to meet. So Thursday was the day in which I went to see my sweetie(?) for the first time. I was very angry with him when he finally showed because he was an hour late. Yes, an hour late. He said it was because there were workers at his house. Whatever, oh yea, he didn't call either. His excuse for that was, he does not have a cell phone.
Well when he finally showed I was not to disappointed by his looks. I am a little taller than him. Actually I am a little taller than a lot of men, but that's beside the point. His body was very trim ,but he still had some meat on his bones. After he apologized about his lateness we went to Georgetown to eat. We then went to Sephora(spell) were he brought some perfume for me.
Then he got down to business. You see, my date is a NWG a Nigerian without a greencard. He proceeded to tell me his story and blah, blah, blah. Basically he wanted me to marry him so that he can stay in the country. He must think I am a fool. I want no parts of a greencard marriage. That shit is for the birds.

By the way, I found a new blog this weekend. I like it a lot, and I think the writer is very talented. Check her out at www.seandia.blogspot.com

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

I Told You! Flava of Love and Some More Stuff

That nasty monster on Flava of Love meant to shit on the floor. She admitted last night. She said" who else has come on TV(or flava show) and shited on the floor." As excited as she was about her nasty deed, you would of thought she found the cure for AIDS. Her highest aspiration in life is to be known as the first woman to shit on the floor on national TV, sad.
Another thing, what was up with flav eating a bucket of chicken like a starving pitbull. Man, they have that dumbass "cooning" it up. Unlike, Dave Chapell(spell) ,he can not notice that they are laughing at him, not with him.
What was with all that booty shaking from the women who were left at house while he went on dates with three of the housemates. You can't tell me those women(?) are not strippers.I know one thing for sure, Beyonce has made mainstream America fascinated with booty poping. Unfortunately, this had led to many black women being asked by "others" if they mind shaking it like Beyonce. For example, I think that was the whole point(booty poping) of the Duke lacrosse players renting(?) the two African-American exotic dancers. I'm just saying, it seems a little strange that a team full of white boys(there was one black player on the team) would want to see two black women perform(why not one white dancer at least).

On to my sex life
I'm thinking about requesting another sample from the swinger. I know I said I was not going to see him again, but it is getting close to that time of the month when my hormones are raging. All the ladies know what I am talking about, it is like you are aroused all day long. Whenever I feel like this, I imagine that this must be what it feels like to be a man.

Saturday, August 12, 2006

Random thoughts II

10. Cassie's performance on 106 and Park. Of all the half talented female singers out there, I have to say she is the worst. She had to whisper the song because her voice is so terrible.
9. Thank God, Vivica A. Fox's face has finally come together. She was a hot mess for a while after the plastic surgery.
8. Cassie again. The original video for "Me and You" was about oral sex(see it at youtube)? No wonder today's teenagers are so out of control.
7. One week later and I still can't get over the Flava of Love chick shiting on herself. She set black women back 50 years. Not only that but she fits the stereotype perfectly:fat,Loud, oversexed, uncouth and a gold digger.
6. Grace Jones is a bad chick. She still doing it in her late 50's. Maybe there is hope for me after all.
5. The swinger called me today, and asked why don't I call or text him anymore. Maybe he should get a clue.
4. Is it ever smart for a woman to take care of a man. In particular, why pay his child support. If he made the children shouldn't he be the one to take of them.
3. Abortion should not be used as birth control. Why put that type of stress on your body anyway.
2. If you want to keep a man, her is some advice,"DON'T GET PREGNANT". Nothing makes most men run faster than a baby with a woman he does not truly love.
1. If only I knew then what I know now I would of gotten a two year degree(preferably nursing)first. Why don't more people know that some bachelors degrees are not always worth the paper they are printed on. This alone would save many young adults thousands of dollars in debt.

Wednesday, August 09, 2006

Flava of Love (or hate)

WTF kind of television show is this. I guess some of us just enjoy watching people make fools of themselves. I must admit that I watched Sunday's episode. As much as I think this show is trash, I feel like I am compelled to watch this show just to see how far some people are willing to go for a chance at fame. Me, I could never do some of the stuff some of those ladies(used loosely, no pun intended)do for 15 minutes of fame.
I can't believe that the bi chick defecated on the stairs. That bitch(I hate calling women this) didn't lose control of her bladder, she just wanted to do something to get more camera time. Some people have no shame. If she was my daughter I would disown her ass.
Another thing, who in the hell would want to be with Flava Flav. That man is fuuuuugggly. A damn beast who is not only physically unattractive, but has the intelligence of a house plant. He has four children with his wife that he does not take care of, so why would another woman give him a chance to knock her up.
If I am disfunctional, than let me be disfunctional in my own home. I don't believe in airing dirty laundry in the street. To bad those Flava of Love chicks don't think the same way.

Tuesday, August 01, 2006


Do I have one? Hell no. I spent the earlier part of my twenties in relationships. Now I am happy to be free. I think relationships are very overrated for people in their twenties. During this period of our lives we should be finding who we are( and paying off those student loans).
I love this blog www.afrochic.net

Oh yea, the swinger friend and I have been having fun together again. You know what I mean. Homeboy gave me level three tonight. It was a little to much for an amateur like me to handle. I'm going to tell him to break it back down to level one for me.