Sunday, August 05, 2007

YOUNG BLACK GIRLS READ THESE QUOTES, my life and more bloggs.

I picked these quotes up from a recent post from one of the most controversial black female bloggers on the net. Say what you want about her, the blog and her message, but you can not deny that there is some truth in the following quotes:

"Choosing a man as your mate and the father of your children is the most important decision of your life because this decision will impact your life, your children, and your future descendants for generations to come--either positively or negatively."

"The ugly fact about this is that an unskilled or uneducated black female is going to spend a lot of her life on her back or on her knees, servicing men--so we MUST never shut up about education for black females, no matter what."

That my dear is real talk, no sugar added.

On to me

The ex is gone again and this time for good. That dude is a trip and I have no time for him or any other man right now. This nursing school is/will take up the bulk of my time for the next few months. To hear many females who have made it through nursing school tell it, having a man right now is not feasible because you do not have the free time that it takes to get a relationship started. At most you may have the time for an occasional booty call. Don't forget I plan on working part-time while in school so I will have fewer hours to play around.

I plan on starting my walking regime this week. I will power walk 3-5 days a week for 2 miles each day. It takes me about 30 minutes to walk two miles so that means I will be walking at a speed of 4 miles per hour(good speed).

I went to the mall(Mondawmin B-more peeps) earlier today and guess what, the fools were out. Now, although I mentioned that I am a bit heavier than I want to be, I have a fairly decent build, read no big gut and nice waist to hip definition. So I can wear things that fit albeit not skin tight like a video girl, but close and form fitting without showing rolls and muffin top. Although I sure wish I had more booty(I have a fair amount) like Serena Williams or Buffie the Body.

Anyway, I guess my fakeout ring was not enough to make them leave me alone because it usually works. As I was going down the escalator some dude asks if he can walk with me. I look up and see a guy standing at the railing with a Bin Laden(long beard). I told that idiot that I am married and guess what that fool said, so was he and that a "that made it funner". I became so flustered because I could not believe he could be so brazen that I speed down the escalator. I had a few other men make eye contact with me but nothing was said because I quickly averted my eyes, and I guess they had more class.

After I left the mall I went to get something from the store. As I was leaving the store some fools in a car drove past, and one idiot leaned his head out of the window to ask if he could walk with me. I told that sea donkey looking fool that I was married and they speed off. So at least this one had some type of respect for the sanity of marriage. Golden, I think you sent all of the fools running from DC into Baltimore.

On To Good Bloggs

Afro Jamicano- You will laugh out loud at the way this guy breaks down celebrities and titles his posts. He is very funny. Don't read will you have water or soda in your mouth otherwise you will choke.

Joey Bossy- She covers celebs a little but she is also into fashion and music. Check her out.

Secret- Did you say Player?

Meet another sister living in France- My so called life in France.

ExpatJane- While many black people struggle with and hate the texture of their hair, check out how people in South Korea are loving our "afro texture"

Snarklyblackchics- Makes me laugh. She has the funniest stories


The Mistress said...

He did NOT say that made it "funner".

What an asshat.

Those beginning quotes were right on point. But you know, it just won't resonate with some folks. They will continue to choose shitty dad's for their kids and then bitch about it for the next lifetime or so.

That shit gets old.

Coffey0072 said...

Black women nurturing their intellect is a must indeed.

I peeped this particular blogger's web journal and read another one of your prior entries related to interracial dating and stayed silent because this topic exasperates me. In the wake of this recommended blog, I've decided to weigh in. People, WOMEN, BLACK WOMEN need to be okay with THEMSELVES and continue to project that confidence and intellect if they're going to attract a proper complement, in due time. I've no problem with interracial dating in general. Hell, I've done it myself several times, because I was asked out and despite my reservations, saw past skin color, straight through to the personality. To no avail, unfortunately because men have the capacity to suck royally regardless of the color of their skin. But I digress.

The PROBLEM with interracial dating (from my vantage point, anyway) is DATING BECAUSE OF RACE rather than despite or notwithstanding someone's ethnicity. The grass is NOT always greener on the other side of the fence and I know I've NO DESIRE to be fetishized by someone seeking an "other worldly" experience. People are attracted to who they're attracted to. Nothing wrong with that, but experience has taught me that it can be problematic and disingenuous. Besides, my keen wit should be MORE than enough to win someone over.
I know dating is particularly frustrating for Black women. I'm a frustrated Black woman, but douchness resounds. It's a UNIVERSAL code of conduct that's not exclusive to ONE type of man.

No one is telling black women to WAIT for a proper black suitor. But touting and in some ways FORCING a way of love JUST BECAUSE OF SOMEONE'S RACE is in my not so humble opinion, ignorant, contrived, and perpetuates stereotypes and resentment.

Otherwise, Black women... PEOPLE... should love and cherish whomever they want. And do it for ALL the RIGHT reasons. The rest... children, security, and the like will follow.

end of rant.

Coco LaRue said...

Powerful quotes, indeed.

I cosign on Afro-Jamaicano! His blog kills me.

Secrets said...

thanks for dropping by...

shhhh don't tell..

Trouble said...

Hey Beauty! Thanks for stopping by my blog.

I think some men actually look for the women with rings. I once had a guy tell me that he was only messing with pregnant women because that way he could hit it raw without worrying (stooopid!)

Amadeo said...

Avoid Mondawmin...always.

BeautyinBaltimore said...

@ Coffee
"People, WOMEN, BLACK WOMEN need to be okay with THEMSELVES and continue to project that confidence and intellect if they're going to attract a proper complement, in due time"
I agree.
I know that some women who frequent her blog date white men because they prefer to date white men ONLY.Many of those women have also been hurt by black men and are still angry about that betrayl.
I on the other hand, prefer a good man of any race.

While I acknowledge that it is easier to date African-American men(actually black men period)because of culture and American society's issues with race. I now realize that many African-American women are and will continue to be single if they are not willing to date someone of a different race.

There have been posts where I questioned if she(the blogger) hates most AA men but at the same time I can see the bigger picture that she presents with her blogg. AA women must have children with and marry men who are responsible and who are capiable of taking care of a family and won't bail when things don't go smoothly. She says that we must end being babby mamas, and changing ourselves physically to look like white women. Instead we should be with men who appreciate our beauty aND want to be fathers to their children .
In both the University and college that I'm attending now, there is a servere shortage of African-American men who make it to graduation. We have a big problem in that there are more educated(which many times equal better paid) African-American females than males. Add to this that many high earning African-American males don't date AA females and we have a culture that believes that men should lead or be equal their wives and you have a big issue .
I don't think most women are comfortable with or want to be in a relationship where they are the major wage earner or failed realtionships in which they find themselves playing both mom and dad.

BeautyinBaltimore said...

@ Trouble- That guy was pure trash. I guess he forgot that he may still get a sexually transmitted disease.

@Amedo- I know but I like to frequent the black book store there.

@Mistress- Oh yes he did and I could not believe he was that bold.

T.C. said...

the education of our young women needs and HAS to remain a priority in our society...we must teach them how to be their own person and how to survive, if need be ALONE...that formal education must also be supplemented to include lessons on self-respect, self-esteem, and financial independance...sounds like a given, but being that i work with young women and men all the time, i KNOW how much this is truly lacking...

having a proper mate is TRULY the most important decision you'll ever make, i couldn't agree more...

and the men...then words about them *shaking my head* no words

Tired of being broke said...

I also did the fake ring thinga while back. It did not deter the 'brave' ones. Can you say disrespectful.

Good luck with nursing school.

Ms. Confessions said...

Education, is the key to LIFE.

Her words could never be more true. An idle mind is a destructive one. When we have too much time on ours hands, nothing good or productive ever comes to pass.

afro jamaicano said...

thats for the luv beauty!

thats crazy! b-more dudes seem like theyll attack random women just walking down the street haha. wtf is up with that "can i walk w/ u?" shih puhlease cant they come up w/ something better?

i hope men dont wear fake wedding rings b/c when i see a man i:
1.look @ his crotch haha
2.look @ his hand to see if theres a wedding ring haha

good thing ur tryna get into better shape. im getting my gym dues, gym satchel and water bottle ready to go to the gym this week. haha jesus puhlease be an alarm clock so i can get up haha!


Mmmm, I hope that black women are listening to the words that woman is sharing!

As for the fakeout ring, come on girl, you didn't know? Dudes will hit on you with or without a ring.

"I told that sea donkey looking fool that I was married and they speed off"

LOL!!! At least the sea donkey had sense!!!!!

I'm off to check out your recommended blogs.

Good luck with school and don't worry, there are plenty fish in the sea.... Um, I take that back, quality fish seem to be seriously lacking but they are there, I guess.

Coffey0072 said...

I now realize that many African-American women are and will continue to be single if they are not willing to date someone of a different race.

BeautyinB'more, I agree with you. And I honestly don't think the woman is bashing black men. I had the opportunity to take a more in-depth look at her site. I think she is touting the great attributes us black women have, rather than bashing black men.
But here is my point: Doucheness resounds in EVERY RACE. While I know the percentage of single mothers resound higher in the Black community, there are some deadbeat WHITE fathers and men as well.
Here is my PRIMARY point. Date a man because he is good to you, respectful, appreciates you for who you are, DESPITE your ethnicity. If he happens to be White OR CHINESE so be it.
I think it's rather ignorant to date someone as a LAST RESORT because you can't find anybody from a specific race or demographic. I know I wouldn't want a man dating MY ass because there's a shortage of narrow hipped women, or because there's a shortage of blonds or what have you.
That's called SETTLING. And it's no different than a man settling with the BRUNETTE sister, but he REALLY wants the blond sister, but the BLOND sister is spoken for. That's the only point I'm making.
I'm not refuting anybody's right to date date who they want... but don't you think it'd make someone feel good to know you're dating them, because you truly LIKE them, and CARE about them? Not because they're white and there's a shortage of Black men/women. ;-)

The shopaholic. said...

I'm definitely feeling that quote.

Trenting said...

I have the fake-out ring too, they just ask.. well does your husband let you have friends? Can I call you..? *sigh*

BeautyinBaltimore said...

I agree Coffee, settling is never good and if you ever watched SATC you can remeber that three of the women were struglling with the issue of settling.

The author of that blog has addressed the issue of black women settling numerous times. I think that there are some black women who are dating men of various races because they can not find black men who "dateable" or marriage material. If you look further into the archives, the author of that site also suggests that AA women date black men from other parts of the world,Asian and Hispanic men. I believe that many people become so caught up in the idea of black women dating white men that they lost the larger message of that site. Find a man who treats you well and let race not be a factor in finding that man. When black women remove race from the equation they are more likely to find a good catch since they will be drawing from a larger pool.

Coffey0072 said...

@BeautyinB'more. Touche re: the last part of your statement.
Onto another matter: A "fake out" ring or even a "fake out" boyfriend doesn't seem to work in this day and age. Once, an annoying man asked me if I had a boyfriend. I lied and said, "Yes" and he asked, "Want me to get rid of him for you?"

I figure many men, particularly pesky ones who leer and hover lasciviously figure they have nothing to lose. So whether a woman is actually spoken for or not, doesn't seem to faze them. Claiming lesbianic tendencies would probably just prompt them to raise their eyebrows at the possibilities, so I'd stay away from that excuse as well. LOL

Tasha said...

Those quotes are very very powerful.

Cosign with the fakeout ring. I used to keep one in my purse just in case. It usually worked, but sometimes I still got the "well we can be friends anyway" speech, lol.

Rogue Sun said...

Well I can't keep up with that. So i'll be at the other end with your bottled water and towel.

aulelia said...

really good post :)

Golden Silence said...

"Golden, I think you sent all of the fools running from DC into Baltimore."

I just wish we could chase them off this planet...they're everywhere and they're aggravating.

catwalq said...


Anonymous said...

mondawmin mall is eewww! hot ghetto mess. did you expect better? hmmm

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