Thursday, February 01, 2007

My Sex(what a pitifull post)

In support of Overwhelmed. I debated about doing this because I think my sex life is to boring to be of any entertaining value.

1.) How old were you the first time? 21

2.) Name of your first? The beast

3.) Good or Bad? Absolutely terrible. To much pain and I didn't find him attractive enough.

4.) Name of the worst and why? The beast, he had/has a very small D$%k although maybe that was a good thing because it hurt like hell. In the beginning he was not good at licking my love box.

5.) Name of the best and why? Probably the Swinger because he put a lot of effort into it. I never had an orgasm with him thought. Maybe if he was the first, I would truly enjoy sex now.

6.) Weirdest place you ever had sex? The sofa, the sad thing is I am to darn conservative for my own good.

7.) Favorite Position: I just luv luv luv doggy-style (the regular one… and another variation… the ‘elevated doggy’ … you know when he puts like a pillow under your stomach and you cock your ass up on the bed, whine on it and just GET IT!!!)

8.) Ever fake an orgasm? HELL YEA, most of the time. I can only take so much humping and pumping.

9.) Would you admit it if the person asked? They don't have to ask since I usually tell. I'm usually hot as hell about it to.

10.) Favorite time of day to have sex? At night, I can't get with that day time ish. I guess because deep down I view sex as something bad that should be hidden.

11.) Most times you have had sex in one day? I think the beast and I did it about three or four times in one day before.

12.) Same person? (is there an alternative?) Lol… of course! I am not that free with and I want to keep it tight . Besides, guilt would drive me crazy. I refuse to end on Maury or Cheaters.

13.) Ever fantasize about someone other than the one you’re with? Um uhhhhh why lie, during the few times that I have had orgasms about 70% of the time I was fantasizing about someone else or being somewhere else.

14.) Restrictions during sex? You know it. How much time do you have. Places it does not go:my mouth, between my breasts, my butt, swinger parties, always wear a condom, man must make noise(I'm very tight), man must lick me, no strange acrobatic positions, no photos, no cameras(I'm not Paris),no body waste games, don't try to toss my salad, private parts should not look beat up, and most important ,must be STD free.

15.) Accessories? I need a good lube so I can turn a man out with my hand. I also have a personal vibrator
16.) What? I can only use the vibrator when I'm buy myself.

17.) Done it in the rain? Naw, I'm to conservative for that. I haven't had it in the shower either.

18.) Done it in a car? No but a lot of women are doing that again now days. This was very popular with my mothers and grandmothers(in America) generation.

19.) Had a Threesome? No…. not interested. The swinger and his wife get down like that. I don't think I would be able to relax enough for a threesome in a million years.

20.) Want to have sex now? Kind of, but it must be the right person who is willing to work to show me a good time.

21.) Ideal pe$%S SIZE- Medium(6-8 inches).

If you are up to it, then post your own.


Anonymous said...

I'm wondering why you don't have many orgasms during sex. You need to masturbate yourself while your partner is fucking you. A dick in the pussy doesn't stimulate the clit. Or sit on his face and have him suck and lick your pussy until you come.

afro jamaicano said...

damn gyal u brave to post that!! haha how cude u say all that stuff then @ #21 blok out penis haha thats too funny!! dont worry ur sex life will get better, u jus need to find someone that can throw down in the bed! may i suggest a jamaican? lol

Tasha said...

^^^is too funny, but true. My fellow yardies can work it out! Anyway, girl you really aren't that conservative if you're posting about it!

Always.Funky.Fresh said...

And the Academy Award for Best Actress in sexual activity goes to.....BeautyinBaltimore for her role in "Little Penis"....HAHHAHAHAHA

The Mistress said...

Car sex fucking SUCKS. I've done it once and never will again.

I'm willing to give fellatio in a car though...does that count as sex?

Hmm...guess so.

Anonymous said...

Lol.. never hard car sex ever... willing to try it though. lmao@ calling your first the beast.. i think i had called mine 'fucking idiot'... does anyone actually have pleasant memories of their first? i'm talkin about females of course!doggy style rocks.. and lmao@ your restrictions.. you're funny babe... entertaining writeup.. luvs it!

beautyinbaltimore said...

@ porn star- I tried that before and it did not work. Instead, it irrated my clit.
@Afro Jamacano- I want you to do the post also.
@Tasha- Maybe so, cause I can talk about it all day. However, when its time to do it, I have all types or restrictions.
@ Always funky fresh- You are always making me laugh.
@mistress- I'm jelous that you are able to enjoy sex so much.
@Overwhelmed- I'm also curious if there are any females you enjoy their first time.

Young Miss Williams said...

I love your honesty girl!

x mwah x

Venus-Rises said...

Young vblood I hae no idea what to say... well, do you. In terms of penis size 6 is small. 8 and thick is what you should expect from every man. Anything shorter than 8 is below average... tell him to get his numbers up! heehee....

Oh, and enjoying sex.... you can only sole the riddle for yourself. Sorry baby girl.

Blu Jewel said...

this is a very interesting post...its open, yet restrictive. you say you're conservative, but you aired your biz. not that you're wrong, just kinda conflicted. no diss, but you've got some things to work out if you want to have good or even great sex and they all start with you sweetie.

Kpakpando said...

the sofa? eyah.
Btw medium deeks are so relative, if it's medium it better be thick as hell, otherwise back thee away from me. oh yes, please if its not working out during sex, feel free to tap homie on the shoulder and tell him to get off. Hopefully you'll find the person who you won't have to fake with.

Elle Woods said...

isnt it kindda ironic that the beast has a small penis though?

Lola Gets said...

I love sex, and am overly orgasmic (if there is such a thing, lol), so I always feel bad when I encounter a woman who doesnt enjoy sex that much. There are many, many tips I could possibly give you - masturbation, learn what you like; good sex starts with the mind, not just the body; you know, shit like that. But what Im going to leave you with is the ways we experience sex evolve as you age, so dont think that this is all you'll experience - theres more to come in the future, lol.

But I am a bit confused: do you go to swinger parties? And actually fool around there? I didnt get that reference.

beautyinbaltimore said...

@Lola gets- No I don't attend Swinger Parties. I call him the Swinger because his wife is bisexual and because of this, they have an open marriage.

Bluntremi said...

I always feel the need to say something in regards to sex and Nigerian women.

I have to agree with Lola is totally about your mind. If youre arent feeling the dude, you will not have an orgasm. There are also different kinds of orgasms as well, but you need to have them consistently to be able to tell the difference...

You have to know what you like, in order to teach someone else what you like. You need to get the idea that its dirty out of your mind too... daytime sex is some of the best sex you may ever have, and youre missing it!! If youre uncomfortable with your body, pls dont that is the key to being sexually free. Using the toys with your partner will help you both , especially if it helps you when youre alone.

Good luck darling - fulfiling sex is right around the corner!

Lola Gets said...

Thanks! I thought thats what you meant, but I just wanted to make sure, lol.

Acolyte said...

LMAO at "the beast"! As for size from what I read in most women's magazines they make it seem like it is width that determines a woman's pleasure more than length does. But I do guess you have to at least average length either way. So dudes who werent endowed at birth have it hard lol.

Anonymous said...

i thought this was cute! however, i think you need to let loose. women are THE MOST POWERFUL, beautiful beings on this earth and sex is the tool that drives it. don't be a whore but when you find the right guy make sure you know how to turn him out. restrictions on sex only restrict you from RECEIVING pleasure. giving pleasure is equally important men are happier and relationships are more easygoing when a man is satisfied. and when a man is satisfied sexually, he'll open up emotionally (totally opposite from us)

BeautyinBaltimore said...

@anon 4:56- Thanks for the good advice. I think my problem is I'm a freaky prude.