Sunday, April 22, 2007

Akon you should be ashamed!

Thanks everyone. I'm feeling better.

Inspiration: afrobella and Afrojamaico
The vacation post is coming soon. I just had to write about this because it hit me in the face.

Please watch this then this.

Now what type of ish is this. I've seen this video floating around for the past few days and many people have said their piece concerning the video. Of course many people blamed the young girl for her treatment.
Look, I don't care what that girl had on. There is no excuse for that ish. As far as I am concerned she could of been walking down the street butt ass naked, and she would not have deserved that type of treatment. The poor girl was forced to hold on for dear life otherwise she probably would of broken a few limbs. There were also reports that she was bruised after the dance(attack?), and that Akon's body guard/security pulled her on stage. Meaning that maybe she did not want that dance after all but deceided to go along with it.

It is particularly weird (but not unusual) that many women and girls were/are quick to condemn the young girl but in no way condemn Akon for his behavior. I guess I should not be shocked though because I'm sure many of these women were also blaming the young girls in the R.Kelly videos.

I have a problem with the fact that Akon did this to a 14 year old but I have an even bigger issue with the fact that he did this to any woman.If this was a 30 year old woman it would still be oh soooooooo wrong. If I was not told that it was a young woman being thrown around I would of assumed that he was tossing a dummy or blow up doll around the stage. Did you see how he got up and ran away after he finished, leaving the young girl on the side of the stage like a heap of trash. That ish made me hot as hell. How much you wanna bet that fool(Akon) came.

Why has our society come to point where men think it is okay to objectify women in this way.

Why are there so many men who get off in treating women this way. I came across two videos on Xtube in which the women were being treated like pure trash(actually less than trash). In one video the guy made it his business to finish in the ladies eye and in another the guy tried to ripe a whole in the woman's throat. Notice you never see the guy. He maintaines his annomity while the female is cast before the world as a good time girl who is desperate for attention.

The Akon video is just another instance where we see men getting off in degrading women and I say degrading because this and the two videos( in the comments Not safe for work ) are not about sex. They are about crushing/trashing another human being and getting off on the power to dominate and control another human being.

I think this stuff comes out of the same pile of smut that rape comes from. PLEASE UNDERSTAND THAT I AM NOT SAYING THAT AKON RAPED THAT YOUNG GIRL but I am saying that using and abusing someones body is such a harsh manner is in my opinion very close (symbolically) to rape.

I have a small collection of porn movies(about a dozen). Some of my movies are from the late 80's, and I have some were made in the last few years. One of the things that I notice is that the male porn stars have started to shoot* on the face (and in the mouth) of their costars. In movies from the late 80's men would finish on the butt, chest or leg of their female costars. Why has it become acceptable to spray the face of the female actress( and people wonder why I don't go down). Some of those women even take it out of their butts and holes and stick it straight in their mouths without missing a beat(yuck).

Keep in mind that I have seen a few gay videos on xtube and I notice that in those videos the men are never(so far) as ruff and disrespectful with each other as the men who star in the straight videos. Why? Do men secretly hate women deep down inside?

Why are so many women willing to subject themselves to this type of treatment? What do they get from this? Is it because they are missing daddies love or are they sexually unhealthy.

I would love to read what Coffee, Soul and Model Minority have to say about this please.


beautyinbaltimore said...

Neither of these videos are safe for work! - In this video she had the nerve to ask if he was still going to marry her. His response was to stuff her mouth again and pump away. -This guy is trying to blind that young woman. Sick sick sick.

Anonymous said...

Girl, I could not agree with you more.

A 14 yr old. He should be done for child abuse. These musicians...urgghhhhh

Really taking back women's struggles to the 1900's.

Shame on him and his Ilk

Acolyte said...

Even if he didnt know the girl was 14 I still think that was manhandling of the highest order! He must have been high on something when he was doing that.
As for porn, I think over time the audiences have wanted more edgier stuff hence the money shots, golden showers and all the sick stuff you see on them.
But I do agree to some extent porn is about "screwing the woman into submission" - Alexyss Tylor. As for gay porn, I have no idea what goes on there, the only gay porn I have ever seen is girl on girl action.

The Mistress said...

Excellent post.

Akon turns my fucking stomach. Ugh.

But I've also wondered WHY women allow themselves to be degraded during sex. I'm sorry but some dude coming ON YOUR FACE is fucking degrading. I can't figure that out. As for men, they will do what you ALLOW them to do. If you accept them being brutal with you during sex, that's what they'll do.

Women need to take the control back dammit.

Surviving with Truth said...

too bad i couldnt get to see the video. its been deleted off of youtube. :(
but it sounds really bad

afro jamaicano said...

from what i've herd the girl on stage was pulled up there by his crew or bodyguards, i mean i think wuh he did was horrible, buh i think the blame shude be on her shoulders a bit also for going there dressed like that, and for not saying no, i mean if she wude have protested then they wude have thrown her back into the crowd, i mean do u think he wude make a chick do something that she didnt want to do in front of all those witnesses?? also her parents shude hav taught her some common decency and self-respect, i mean wuh gyal or woman that values herself let's a dude do that to her?

and on him for basically dry-f*cking a chick on stage in front of some many people, i mean how indecent do u have to be to do that? and for being an idiot!! has he learned nothing from that rkelly shih?? u shude always hav a chick's i.d. b4 pulling her on stage, and for cheating on all his wives (had to put that in...)

i respect/disagree with ur opinion on the porn shih, buh as a male I AM 100% SURE that all those chicks are willing participants. as a general rule woman are always anti-porn, so i guess ur comments are understandable. i mean porno is jus acting out people's fantasies. men wanna be dominant, and in control sometimes, i mean think about it, a man goes to work everyday, takes crap from his boss, gets a call from his mum mid-day telling him to cut her lawn after work and move a couch for her. and then when he gets home his wife berates him and gives him a laundry list of chores b4 he can even get anywhere near the punani. in none of those situations is the man in control, that's where porno comes in

(and in gay videos dudes get punch-f**ked and hav jus as much jizzism shot on their faces) there's this like 20 min video where this japanese guy has a room of like 200 guys shoot allover him, now u tell me that's not disrespectful! (i'll try n find it for u)

beautyinbaltimore said...

@acolyte- I was so shocked to see him handle the girl in such a ruff manner. His treatment of that girl is almost as bad as Suge Knight when he put a young lady in the choke hold and did the two step at the same time. I think overtime some people are desentized to normal sex and so they need to keep pushing the bounderies.
@ mistress- I glad you agree. Every time I see a man come on a woman's face in a porn movie I am turned off.
@surving with truth- The videos are not on youtube, they are on xtube. Xtube is the x rated version of youtube.
@ Afro Jamicano- I want you to post on this. You have left a very lenghty comment so I know this topic speaks to you. Personaly, I think that even if a man is stressed out from everything else in his life I should not have to worry about him wanting to debase me.I want you to expand on the idea that men like to control.
I think even in the videos where men are doing degrading things they are not as hate filled as the straight videos. From some of the straight videos I get the since that many of those men hate the women they are performing with.

racquelle-cutie said...

i put the blame on the girl cos if she didn't want to go on stage she would have said so and the girl so doesn't look 14

BUT all this singers they are so vulgar AKON forgets that there is a thing called AIDS and that he is seen as an inspiration to many africans.
when he released his first album i was glad that he was doing his thing and making africa proud and that he wasn't featuring half naked women in his vidoes,but recently the guy just change maybe the fame got to his head and i heard his married ,4 real if i was his wife he would definitely not disrespect me like that cos i will show him that africa no be america

DivineLavender said...

As a womanist/as a feminist, I love to have cum on my face. I am willing and eager woman that loves a "facial". It isn't up for us, other women to decide that is degrading for me. I am in control of my body. As a grown woman-sexually aware bisexual, I am fully aware of what turns me on. It is a personal choice and perference.

I also love to cum on a man's face. I love for a woman to cum on my face. I love cum. I love my own cum. I love it. Nothing turns me on more than either of those...Well maybe others but you got to come to my blog to learn those things.

I won't defend my sexual desires (I make a point to live out all of my sexual fantasies-All of stone unturned) or accept a blanket statement that I am degrading myself without someone asking me if I felt degarded. I never and other women that feel like me, never signed over our authority to someone else to tell us when we are degraded. Can't we make that decision ourselves? Can't we all set up our own sexual boundaries?

Then, have our individual decision accepted and honored as our own truth? I say Yes.

You don't like. Its a turn off for you.

I love it. It is a HUGE turn on for me.

It is all about each woman being able to make her choice.
Cum on my face? Yes or No
Cum in my mouth? Yes or No
Cum on my ass? Yes or No
Cum inside of me? Yes or No.
Cum on his face? Wait for a yes or no.

Cum on his "member"? Wait for a yes or no

Cum on his fingers? Wait for a yes or no

It goes both ways, really it does.

A woman's choice/preference should be the focus not the wrong and right of the matter.

I haven't seen the video. I can't comment on that. It sounds like is a complex situation with plenty of layers to pull back.

Has anyone interviewed the young lady? That way we don't have to make assumptions if she was willing, no willing, excited, horrified, abused, hurt, proud, etc. I would like for someone to ask her and we take her answer/her reflection as the truth.

Great Post!

afro jamaicano said...

beautyinbaltimore ur looking @ this on a dif level, think about it like this. think of a gyal in a porno as a stripper. strippers play a role, they talk sweet to a guy, grind on his lap, get the moneya nd go, nothing more nothing less.

the gyals in pornos are playing a role (think of them as actresses) all that moaning, and shih is just for show. that's what guys want to see. i mean, wuh about chippendales and shih like all nude blk reviews where men grind their crotches in women's faces, or the women rip the guys clothes off and the women fork over cash. it's all jut a fantasy, lol

as for men taking control, i work with female engineer's, female bosses, and shih, most of the dudes that i have to work with are more layed back, but alot of the females make demands, call to make sure everything is getting done, and are generally overbearing. in MY OPINION i think women want for men to take control in the bedroom some of the time. i mean alot of women want their hair pulled, to be gagged by their man's d*ck. etc. and by the same token most men want their women to take control in the bedroom, but alot of women are almost scared to do it b/c growing up they were taught, when ur married give ur husband sex, keep him happy. not to make sure that they derive pleasure from sex too.

and once more i was told by a female that she along with most females have rape fantasies (could go into the psychology of this buh don't got the space in this post lol) AND why don't you make a post baout richard gere kissing caressing, and fondling some indian actress @ an aids benefit in india? she didn't seem to like it buh just like a woman she grinned and took the abuse. to me that was downright violation!!

beautyinbaltimore said...

@Afro- I saw the pictures and film from the richard gere incident. I don't think they were on the same level but maybe I will write about it.

Soul said...

I saw the video a few days ago and what can I say..
I wasn't surprised. Akon's record company has been working feverishly to get it removed from YouTube.

I have a few questions that I can't answer in my head.
First I'm embarrassed for the parents of this child cos how do they explain what this 14 year old was doing in a nightclub?

Second I wanna know why Akon needed to lie about there being a contest in order to get his rocks off?

The sad thing about this is that I just don't find it surprising at all. Women have always been commodified, but the level in hiphop and present day rnb is beyond well beyond.

People keep saying oh, the women are willing paticipants and I say bollocks!. You do what you have to do for the money because you need it. Not because you enjoy it.
hte most disturbing thing is not what the women are willing to do, it's what the men want them to do knowing that they really can't say no.

Lola Gets said...

I wasnt able to see the videos in question because they were no longer there.

There have been some evolution in the porn industry from the 1960s to the present. As sexual styles changed in the public, so have they changed in film. Back in the 70s, they didnt do serious close ups, now they do (Gonzo style). Also, Ive seen many newer videos where the women seem to have real orgasms (I think they do, lol). Thats not something you would have seen in the past.

But we also need to keep in mind that most porn is made for men. So theyre showing things that they think men would (and do) like.

Do I think that the majority of men hate women? No. I do think that most men really do love themselves. Or theyre very insecure, so they feel they need to do things to make themselves feel better (see my blog for tales of FAF as an example).

Now Im a grown ass woman, whos into a little BDSM. I do enjoy exhibitionism, and I do like the right man to order me around - a bit. But thats fantasy. The wrong man, again FAF, will try to carry that into reality, and thats a no go.

I dont like a man to ejaculate onto my face, but hey, if you like it and its consentual, then its all good!

Do my sexual choices mean I have a low self-esteem? I dont think so, but Im going to think about it!

Anonymous said...

aargh!the vid has been removed...i wanted to do some serious gbeborun

Soul said...

I don't know what type of 70's movies you were watching.. but the one's I saw (from my fathers collection) had close ups, involved role playing scenes and looked like the women were really orgasm'ing.

The thing is most porn nowadays seems to be brutal.
It's like there's no finesse just punishment. And whilst that's good if that's your thing, it's worrying when it is the overwhelming theme.

Now don't get me wrong, like most women I have times when I want to be submissive, times when I want someone to be overtly aggresesive and much more but there are also other times when I want something different.
The average porno on the block is pretty much about male domination of a woman all the damn time.
Not during a scene but all the time.

TDJ said...

I agree with some of your points, Beauty, but I also like what the Mistress had to say.

Why are we as women allowing this? Why are we not raising our girls to expect and demand better. There is an entire generation of lost children floating around out there and we are all to blame.

aegeus said...

I waltz in late and find the videos have been taken down! Arrrgh!

beautyinbaltimore said...

@aegus- I found another copy of the video, so enjoy.
@ Tdj- YOu are right, why are we as women doing these things. I will say that for some women it is poverty that makes them so desperate that they find themselves doing these types of things. For other women who are not desperate for money,well that is the group that I don't understand.
@ Soul- Thank you for commenting. You hit the nail on the head. Now mainstream porn has become about totally degrading and punishing the woman. In the older movies most of the women looked as if they were enjoying the sex. Now with the 16 inch guys raming it as hard and as fast as possible it seems as if many of the women are in pain. Sometimes some of the women will have pained expressions on their faces. I don't mind a guy taking control in the bedroom either but I don't want to be rough handled. If a guy ever treated me the way Akon tossed that young lady around that would be the last time he ever sleep with me.
@Lola-In some of the older movies that I've seen a lot of the women had orgasms.
@pink stain- I found a new copy of the video.


beautyinbaltimore said...

But we also need to keep in mind that most porn is made for men. So theyre showing things that they think men would (and do) like.
Yes, I understand that most porn is made for men but before porn became mainstream(?) the sex looked more geniune(sp). Today it looks like the actors are there to do a job. Sometimes the guy is banging away while looking into the ceiling,thinking zbout how he forgot to pay the cable bill.
You mentioned that porn features sex acts that men would like to perform, well why the far out things like gangbangs, cuming on a woman's face, chocking her or making her swallow.Why do men like to do these things to women.

@ Divine lavender- The young lady gave an interview. I would give you a link but I can't remember where I read it at. Oh yea, her father is a reverened.
Personaly, I could never let a guy give me a facial but I respect the fact that this is something you enjoy. However, I think for a large number of women this is something that they don't enjoy. Have you viewed the two porn videos that I linked here. How do you feel about them.
I think in porn many of the women are used and abused.In a lot porn movies the women look very tired,bored, and beat down, and I think a large part of that is due to the fact that they are doing things that they do not enjoy.

beautyinbaltimore said...

@ Afro- I had a friend(she was drunk) who told me she did this with her boyfriend. I was very shocked. This is not the type of game I am willing to play with any man.
Why are men obbessed with control?

Soul said...

afro Jamaicano, there's no need to ad your own extra gist to the story.

Richard Gere did NOT fondle Silpa Shetty, he dipped her (as you would do if you were dancing) and kissed her on the cheek. THAT IS ALL!.

Re: you average rape fantasy amongst women.. yep it's pretty common.. and it is about giving up contol, just like the average male fantasy is about being penetrated.. that is also about giving up control.

These are the most common fantasies that the genders have.. and like all things fantasy does not have to become a reality.

Men nowadays carry fantasy into reality, you are almost expected to behave like a video ho. and if you don't .. you ain't sexy enough.

In addition many carry dodgy thinking forward.. for instance you stated that the female engineers are overbearing.. well maybe because the people they work with are slacking and acting like brats, maybe they feel that your productivity could improve if you just come to work and do what you are supposed to do.

How did you decide that most women are scared to take control in the bedroom because they are thought something or other?.
I mean how do you know? are you a woman?.

Look, most of the time we hear men say, i could do that with my mistress but I don't want to do that with my wife, that's the mouth she kisses my children with blah blah blah.. and that shit is old school.

Absolutely every woman I know loves pleasure and being pleased.
The ones who are married make it a priority..
i don't know the people you know.. but I feel sorry for both the men and women.

beautyinbaltimore said...

@ Afro Jamicano- You can't compare what Richard Gere did to what Akon did. The two incidents are on two different levels. Imagine if R. Gere would of treated the Indian actress the same way Akon treated that young girl. They would be calling for his death since there were protests because of a kiss.

chidi said...

akons videos are getting nastier & nastier. When he started off rapping, he's songs & vidoes were all inspiring but now..... i think he has been influenced too much by other rappers like snoop dogg. As for the girls who are treated like shit, its because the ywan to be treated like that. They potray themselves in such a bad way because of money? Y? money isn't everything