10. Never eat or drink gross or dangerous things on the bus. No one wants to see you pick your nose much less eat it. Please don't drink super hot coffee on the bus so that when the bus makes a sudden stop you spill it on the people near you.
9. Never forget that the bus, subway and light rail are not your bathroom. Please don't apply makeup, shave, apply lotion to your legs and feet, comb or brush your hair on public transportation. I would prefer to think that you wake up that pretty in the morning(pretty damn ugly). Likewise, if you have gas please wait until you get to a bathroom before letting it flow.
8. Never change your child's diaper on the bus. I don't want to smell crap first thing in the morning.
7. Never bring a child on the bus who does have home training. No one wants to hear your child scream at the top of his lungs and cuss you out because you would not buy him an ice cream cone, candy or let him or her go over their grandmother's house.
6. Never bring on Television sets, file cabinets, large fans or air conditioners. Trust me, I seen people bring all of these things on the bus.
5. Never use one of those radio nextel phones on the bus. No one wants to hear your business. Sometimes I feel like people who use those nextel phones are pure attention whores.
4. Never come on the bus with so many bags that you have to make two trips to get all of your bags on the bus.
3. Never come on a crowed bus with a bad attitude. When you got on the bus did you not see that it was very crowed. Why would you get on a crowed bus with your new $250.00 one of a kind nikes if you did not want anyone to step on them.
2. Never tell a war story(sex tale) on the bus. As much as I like to hear and read about the sex life of other people, please don't tell your homeboy how your girlfriend gave you a world class BJ. Yes, some fool really did this before, I was soooooo very disgusted. With the exception of the man(?) and his friend, the bus was full of women.
1. Please don't masturbate on the bus. If you are a pervert please leave that part of yourself at home. I once had a dude masturbate next to me on the number 5 bus. Baltimore readers know that the number 5 bus is the sister bus of the number 8. Both are best to be avoided if possible. I was also unfortunate enough to to witness a homeless woman who had an itch that needed to be scratched. She just hiked up her skirt and started to go to work. One question, why were some of the men on the bus trying to check out homegirl plucking her violin.
2 weeks ago