4 weeks ago
Monday, November 20, 2006
One hand four fingers(lets talk about the number) Part 1
Warning: If you are a holly roller you may not like this post. Please come back on Thursday when there is a post more to your liking.
Ok, lets go. First read this . Please read the comments also.
Now if you read that post you know that the author was talking/asking the appropriate number of sexual partners for men vs. women. Well lo and behold if the hollyrollers did not come out in full force. They decided to "beat up" the blogger for simply discussing sex.
If case you don't know, the writer of that blog is a Nigerian female. As someone who is part Nigerian, I know that part of my blood very well. Even modern(western educated, exposed city women) Nigerian females seem to a have a big problem with a female saying anything about sex. Traditionally, women in Nigeria were not suppose to enjoy sex since it was seen as the domain of men. Take this line of thinking alone with the idea that out of control gossiping(and I do mean out of control) is normal, and you have the makings of a society in which modern exposed Nigerian women(many,not all) feel uncomfortable talking about sex even to their closet friends.
Maybe because I am part African-American and have lived in this country most of my life, I reject the archaic ideas that Nigerian society has concerning women and sex. I know that I am a tad bit(maybe very) different from most Nigerian girls my age in my outlook on sex. The funny thing is, many of those hollyroller chicks have had far more sexual partners than me (particularly oral).
My opinion concerning the number of partners that a female should have is this, it is her body. Let her make her own decisions concerning how she lives her life. Some women are lucky in that they are able to enjoy sex(I wish I was in this category) in a way that most women can not/have not. For women who are this lucky/blessed they may find themselves racking up partners simply because they like to "sample" many different men. Other women have a large number of partners because they have low self-esteem and sleep with different men to feel better about themselves(so bad).
Some women are able to keep their number low because they get married while they are very young(18-20). Other women have a low number because they are a bit frigid/cold( I think this is me) and have not learned what works for their body. Some women who are frigid/ cold may develop a long list over time because they are trying to discover themselves sexually, and therefore have a few duds in the bucket before they find someone who can rock their world. There is still another group of women who are do get married until they are well into their 30's and have had many boyfriends so by the time they get married they have had a number of partners.
For many women it may take up until the 10th partner before they find someone who is talented in bed. Men on the other hand, like it all the time(99.5%). The woman could be butt ugly, but because she has a triangle between her legs some man is willing to sleep with her. It is only because most men live in cultures(around the world) were they are encouraged to be hos that they feel comfortable bragging about the number of women they slept with and therefore have no problem shouting a big number. Well, here in Baltimore many women don't agree with that line of reasoning and as a result many men here will hesitate to tell you their true number. They will say 4 when it is really like 44.
Yes I know many of the commenters mentioned STDs as the reason that having to many partners is dangerous but guess what, so is driving a car. Many women who have contracted HIV(particularly in Africa) have done so because their husband decided to visit the local prostitute(espy South African mine workers) or chasing after everything in a skirt( I truly believe that the average man has sleep with more people versus the average woman period, whether that man is American,Nigerian,French etc....). Did the woman sleep around no, yet she was still unfortunate enough to receive a death sentence from her husband.
As much I consider myself open minded, I must say that in the back of my head I am always slightly worried about my number becoming to high. For some reason I want to hold on to my last finger. I guess because like every other female I have been socialized to see things a certain way. That is why in the past I would sleep with one my ex boyfriends, to avoid racking up new partners. Not good, since none of my ex boyfriends really put it on me the way I like it. Anyway, whenever I do sleep with number five I hope I choose a good one who can make my toes curl ,and you know I will blog about it .