Tuesday, September 12, 2006

You might be a wigga if?

1. When you see the brothers from the Nation of Islam you run over to get a bean pie and a Final Call newspaper. Dude, I guess you have not read the NOI's thoughts on white people.
2.
You are in your car and you pull up beside some white folks playing heavy metal and your first thoughts are, those people no nothing about good music.
3.On your first day of high school you try to find a table to sit at in the cafeteria, you look around, suddenly you see the table with all of the black kids and you take your tray to sit with them.
4.
You are walking down the street late at night, and you spot a group of young black men. Instead of crossing the street like most white people would, you walk up to them and say "what's up bro" and try to give each man a pound(handshake).
5. When they beat your ass you think they were just showing you love. No idiot they just gave you a beat down.
6. You have naturally curly hair(Justin Timberlake or Jew fro) and you refuse to cut it down because you think that "the man" should learn to accept you and all your "Africaness".
7. You are a white woman and you have lips like Angelina Jolie or Julia Roberts and you love to wear that cheap dollar store gloss to show off their fullness. Honey, that lip gloss makes you look like you are advertising(if you know what I mean).
8.
You refuse to date another white person.
9.
You are a white woman and you think it is impossible for a black man to have a small one.
10. You are a white woman with a round ass(hey Delicious) and you love to show it off. You put that extra strut in your walk when a black man is around and you like to stand next to black women with small butts to show off. I had a white girl do this to me once. Maaannn, I wanted to give her a beat down.
11. Whenever you talk to a black person you speak in a blackcent(black accent)or slang. Buckwild(FOL) I'm talking to you.
12. You even speak slang to your black doctor who grew up in the Midwest as the only black person in his town who is the son of black republicans . Ignorant ass, all black people do not speak ebonics, slang and or Gullah, stop that shit
.
13. You think that all black people who do not speak ebonics or slang are oreos. Noooo, their parents may have required them to speak standard English so that they would have it easier in mainstream America. They can not switch back and forth like you and find acceptance.
14. You spend a lot of time in the tanning spa to make your skin a light shade of brown( a la Beyonce) so you can pass as mixed.
15. Your a white man with a big one and whenever you look down at yourself you give a silent thanks for "the one drop rule".
16. You only listen to rap music preferably gangsta rap, any other type of music is not black music. Ever hear of Living Color?
17. If you are a white girl who will not date a black boy unless he is thuggish. Any other type of black man just wants to be white.
18. You only read street lit books because they tell the "true" tale of blacks living in America. No, my dear they do not. They tell the story of a small segment of the population. Try "The Black Middle Class" by Ellis Cose and "Our Kind Of People" by Otis Graham for a change.
19. You decided to attend a HBCU because you wanted to be around your people, free from the white man's control. I guess you haven't met your professors yet
.
20. You rock cornrolls.
20. You wear a grill. Yes, you Paulwall
21. You say the word nigger, nigga, niggah(same difference) without the least bit of guilt or fear in a room full of black people. You will soon disappear homie

7 or less - You watch to much MTV.
8-13- You have forgotten who you are, you need help immediately.
14 or more- You are on the top ten list of the grand wizard of the KKK.

9 comments:

Miz JJ said...

Lol. This list is hilarious. White girls with booty think they are super special when they really aren't.

Tired of being broke said...

Girl you are hilarious.
Had a white vendor leave me a message once to 'holla at him later about dah invoices'.
I did not even respond to his voicemail.

The Mistress said...

LOL. I love the term "Jew Fro". That shit cracks me up!

Terrific list. You are insane!

Kris said...

"Buckwild(FOL) I'm talking to you."

You have never lied about that one... she's more hood than 99.9% on black people I know. But if he likes it love it.

"You say the word nigger, nigga, niggah(same difference) without the least bit of guilt or fear in a room full of black people. You will soon disappear homie"

Not cute..not remotely attractive.

Smooches!

Sex and the Sushi said...

LOL I've heard white people say cornROLLS and it always cracks me up! Can't even be bothered to get it right but they down though. LOL just wanna scream at them, CornROWS, CornROWS DAMN YA!

Smooches,
Ms. GD

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