Wednesday, September 06, 2006

You might be a Ghetto Boy if? Yea, Bill Cosby is coming for you.

1.) You think being a pimp is a good career option. No dumb ass, pimps are next to the lowest scum on earth. They only rank higher than child molesters and people who recruit child soldiers.

2.) You think the fact that you have a big D#$k is enough to keep a woman. I'm afraid its not, you need to connect with her on a emotional level too.

3.) You think the only way sex is good for a woman is if you try to bang her brains out. If the woman walks like a cowboy after an encounter with you it was NOT good.

4.) The only pet name you can think of for your girlfriend or wife is boo. Is she a ghost.

5.) You don't think getting oral sex from another man is homosexual/bisexual behavior. Think again.

6.) You find drag queens attractive, but view yourself as straight as 6 o'clock. Yea, ok.

7.) You don't want to use condoms because "it does not feel the same" although you live in an area where a large number of people are infected with HIV and other STDS. Aids does not feel good either my dear.

8.) You think abortion is an acceptable form of birthcontrol.

9.) Or you don't believe in abortion, yet you never stay around to raise your children. You think a woman should be happy to carry your seed. Forgetting the fact that you probably won't be around by the time the child turns 5(jail,graveyard, or another woman).

10.) You like to brag about how many children you have with x amount of women. At the same time, you take care of none of them.

11.) If have children with more than 2 different women. Stop spreading it around bro.

12.) You complain about the white man keepin you down, but you don't know the year that slavery ended(1865). Actually, you know very little about black history accept Martin Luther King was a freedom fighter and at one time we were slaves.

13.) When someone mentions Africa you think that it is like those old Tarzan movies. You also think Africa is a country, no my dear its a continent and Africans do not speak a language called African.

14.) You think that anyone with a Caribbean accent is from Jamaica. There are other islands in the Caribbean besides Jamaica(Bahamas, Haiti, Cuba, and Barbados to name a few).

15.) You think African-Americans were the only people to be held in slavery in the western hemisphere. Sweetie, the blacks from South America and the Caribbean were all slaves at one point.

16.) You want your next baby's mother to have "good hair". What is good hair?

17.) You think light skinned black people are more attractive than darker complexioned black people. Just because.

18.) Although you are as dark as night you think your blue contacts make you more attractive.

19.) You can't stand the sight of a black woman with natural hair.

20.) You will date ANY type of woman besides a black woman.

21.) When you first meet a woman you like to mention your stint in prison with nostalgia written all over your face.

22.) Besides abortion you think, "pulling out" is a good method of birthcontrol. Pre-come my dear, pre-come.

23.) You claim to hate gold diggers yet you like to pull out your fat knot of money when you are around a woman you find attractive. You are attracting bees with honey son.

24.) You drive a luxury car (BMW or Jaguar for example) and live in your mothers basement. Classic.

25.) You pay for everything with a moneyorders or cash. Hey bro, those check cashing lines are simply to long sometimes. Get a checking account, much easier and fewer fees too.

26.) You work one job(maybe even part-time) while your woman works two jobs, and she still comes home and does all of the house work because you refuse to. According to you cooking and cleaning is a woman's job. Well working tw0 jobs is a man's job sir.

27.) You drive your woman's car(you are unemployed) all day while she works two jobs and attends classes all while she is seven months pregnant.

28.) You think a woman should take care of her man totally(work, cook. clean, bath him etc..) You are not a baby, be a man.

29.) You Like to brag about the time(s) you were shot or robbed. This shit is not glam.

30.) You offer to take a woman on a date, and have no money to pay for dinner.

31.) You date white women, but only white women with natural blonde hair. The dark haired dark eyed white woman remind you of light-skinned black women tooooooooo much.

32.) The most unattractive and overweight white woman is better than Halley Berry on any day of the week.

33.) On the rare occasions that you will date a dark skinned black woman her butt must be so big that it turns the corner 10 minutes after she does.

34.) Someone stepping on your new shoes is a good reason to fight.

35.) There is a fire in your house. You can only save one thing . You decide to grab your new Jordons. The hell with your family, personal identification cards or high school diploma. You must be fresh to death every day.

36.) If you make it through high school its a miracle.Your mother has the holly ghost at the ceremony because she can't believe your wild ass has made it this far. God forbid if you got a Masters degree , she may become so excited that she does back flips across the stage.

37.) You hate to read. For example, you would rather sign a contract than read it first.

38.) You think it is smarter to buy a fancy car than by a house. No dear, a car depreciates in value, a house does the opposite.

39.) You say your father didn't raise you so why should you raise your own children.

40.) You call all women besides your mother a bitch, and you have no problem calling yourself a Nigger(oh my bad nigga). You are so down you even let that "cool" white boy call you nigger. Hello, do I have to tell you how wrong this is. That "cool" white boy told me to tell you he wants to take you on another boat trip, don't mind the shackles they act as seat belts .

If you can answer 14 or more with a yes than you are indeed a Ghetto Boy.

13 comments:

Sir Bertly re-introduced said...

Another classic, but how on earth did you forget this one:

41) If you have ever used the line "I dated this girl once, she was so fine, I tried to give her my baby" - I guess commitment and the ghetto don't go hand-in-hand.

As for your nosey little question......that is a whole other blog.

tout noir said...

yeah, i am technically bisexual but most girls bore me - especially the ones who know they are pretty. I am generally attracted to lesbians or really dark-skinned skinny straight girls. Dunno, why... thanks for reading my blog (even though i don't update often).

xoxo

afrohomo

TTD said...

"The only pet name you can think of for your girlfriend or wife is boo. Is she a ghost." - LMAO!!!

such a true list.. good one!

NaijaBloke said...

Lol...Nice oen channel ..

13.) When someone mentions Africa you think that it is like those old Tarzan movies. You also think Africa is a country, no my dear its a continent and Africans do not speak a language called African.

14.) You think that anyone with a Caribbean accent is from Jamaica. There are other islands in the Caribbean besides Jamaica(Bahamas, Haiti, Cuba, and Barbados to name a few).

15.) You think African-Americans were the only people to be held in slavery in the western hemisphere. Sweetie, the blacks from South America and the Caribbean were all slaves at one point.

These r pretty true gurl

The Pussy Cat Bitch said...

I love this fuckin list. Its hilarious !

Bella Naija said...

LMAO....very true but some r very sad....
if u exhibit the behaviour listed...change ur lifesyle

LovelyMonAmi said...

Guuurrrrllll, now you know, pookie, ray-ray and sho-nuff is lokkin' for ya, for blowin' up dey spot! LMAO!

I needed a good laugh!

The Stiltwalker said...

Ok damn I had a comment till I glanced over at tout noir's. WTF?

The Mistress said...

#24 is brilliant. I've blogged about this subject my damn self!

I am so feeling this list!

This shit is a riot....I hate being called "Boo". It's totally ghetto!

LMAO @ " If the woman walks like a cowboy after an encounter with you it was NOT good."


Aaahahahahahahahahaha!

beautyinbaltimore said...

@ sir Bertly- Thanks, I love your name by the way.
Tout noir- Thanks for clearing that up. You guys should check out his blog, one of my favorites.
@ttd- thanks
@ Najabloke- You have no idea how many times I've had to inform people concerning 13-15. I once had an idiot tell me that Jamacans and African-Americans are two different types of black people (wtf?).
@ lovely- I may print it out,take it to the hood and have ghetto boys read it to see what they think(just joking).
@ bella- exactly
@stiltwalker- That was a response from a question I asked him at his blog.
@ the mistress- You know some of these idiots think they did something when they "tore it up"

beautyinbaltimore said...

@ sir Bertly- Thanks, I love your name by the way.
Tout noir- Thanks for clearing that up. You guys should check out his blog, one of my favorites.
@ttd- thanks
@ Najabloke- You have no idea how many times I've had to inform people concerning 13-15. I once had an idiot tell me that Jamacans and African-Americans are two different types of black people (wtf?).
@ lovely- I may print it out,take it to the hood and have ghetto boys read it to see what they think(just joking).
@ bella- exactly
@stiltwalker- That was a response from a question I asked him at his blog.
@ the mistress- You know some of these idiots think they did something when they "tore it up"

Tired of being broke said...

Am feeling you on Number 14. Am sick and tired of people asking me if am Jamaican. Get a damn world map and look up other countries.

Ghetto ass people here in the BX who never left NY except to go shopping in Jersey.

skugga1302 said...

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