Wednesday, July 04, 2007

Interacial romance (One of Three posts)

Uh oh I guess you are in trouble now. Sisters they found out about your mission. I advise you, you and you to get on the next thing smoking and get out of town.

You know, I think one of the reasons people are having problems with interacial dating is because of the many toxic images and voices of interacial dating that we are fed via the media. Wheater it is the daily talk shows which bring on the most ignorant and self hating black men who preach hatred for black women and try to convert other black men to think the same way or those puclications which are writen for black women *ESSENCE MAGAZINE* who publish a different variation on the same article every month.
"What black women are doing wrong"

"What black women are doing wrong with black men"

"black women give it up to easily"

"black women are to frigid"

"black women are losing their men because they nag to much"

"How to suck a good one so a yt women won't take your man" -joke

Some of these articles are written by black men who profess to have some secret knowledge that other black men are lacking and therefore they are going to give black women this hidden top secret knowledge. Which is usually pure bullsh*t.

Part of the reason that African-American women are not as eager to date outside of the race as black men are is because they/we are taught to distrust white men. When we express interest in a nice looking white man we are reminded of the scene from roots when Kizzy(Kunta's daughter) was raped by her new owner(?) Tom along with the words "(Remember what they use to do to black women".

Well I guess a lot of sisters are moving past that line of thinking because suddenly I am seeing a lot more sisters going out with out white men. Guess what, a lot brothers don't like that. As a matter of fact, some black men become so inflamed that they feel they must make their displeasure known to said interracial couple.

Sad, when said black man has to drop the hand of his white wife who he is walking hand in hand with to go approach the black woman who is a traitor to the race.



Be silent said...

first here okay
now i go back to read

Opinionated Diva said...

Funny I posted a link to that interracial page on my site a couple of days ago.

Personally, I don't have a problem with sistas or brothas who date White people...if you like it I love it. I have a problem with people who believe that going White is some kind of automatic upgrade.

Rogue Sun said...

I have a theory. It's probably not something that would be very popular. But it goes a little like this:

The white man sleeps with black women because he feels like he's getting some from a slave. The black man sleeps with white women because he feels like he's getting some from the master's wife.

It's probably bullsh*t, but no more than anyone who is in an interracial relationship and stops and berates someone of their own race for doing the same.

I've had interracial relationships in the past and may do at some point in the future. I figure you are attracted to whomever you are attracted to. But I would never do what this guy does.

Amadeo said...

Ahhh, those warning messages are always....special.

Tasha said...

Very interesting topic, I'm glad to see more bloggers discussing it. Personally, I couldn't give a damn what race someone else is dating as long as they're dating out of "blind" attraction and mutual chemistry, rather than pressure to do so.

The shopaholic. said...

I don't care what the next man or woman is doing. I just have a problem when black people say they've sworn off thier own because ..'Black women have too much drama', 'Black women front too much' etc etc. Bullshit reasons if you ask me.
Unfortunately, I always hear this from the men.

P.S: I like your new page color.

classybabe said...

the only inter-racial relationships i don't feel are the ones done not for love but for a more sinister reason.The fact is that we are going to see more inter-racial marriages now especially with countries tightening their immigration laws.
If a black woman dates a white man becos she is attracted to him,i don't see anything wrong with it,but when she starts feeling that she has stepped up becos of this that's when i resent it.
The guy in the video obviously has a lot of time on his hands

SistaSocialite said...

I don't have an issue with seeing people in interracial relationships... my own best friend (black chick) was in a 5 year realtionship with a white guy. Just liek classybabe said... its just the fact that some ppl are going at it for the wrong reasons, which I don't get, but whatever... do your thing lol

DiamondsR4eva said...

Love the new look. As far as interracial relationships go, I admit I do sometimes take an extra glance and wonder, but at the end of the day that is not my life, nor my situation, who am I to judge or try to interpret what makes either one of them happy. If they like it I luv it!

Rodrigo said...

Oi, achei teu blog pelo google tá bem interessante gostei desse post. Quando der dá uma passada pelo meu blog, é sobre camisetas personalizadas, mostra passo a passo como criar uma camiseta personalizada bem maneira. Se você quiser linkar meu blog no seu eu ficaria agradecido, até mais e sucesso. (If you speak English can see the version in English of the Camiseta Personalizada. If he will be possible add my blog in your blogroll I thankful, bye friend).

TTD said...

i agree w/ Opinionated Diva.. do whatever makes u happy regardless of race.. i was having this convo w/ my co-workers the other day.. in the lines of my favorite rapper "what u eat, dont make me sh*t" and that's the truth! people need to stop being so concerned about what others are doing, and worry about themselves..

femme said...

sometimes people just want to know the differnce -to find out if all the stereotypes are true. i have friends who want to get with black guys and it is true that many black girls see being with white men as upgrades. but what do i care?
thanks for stopping by

Lola Gets said...

Ok, part of me thinks that guy was joking. The last point that he made was "white women, tell your white men that if they let Black men advance, Black women will want them, and not take your white men." (I paraphrased) I think what dude is trying to say in a humorous fashion is that society as a whole should give Black men more opportunities for advancement...thats what I think...but I could be wrong, lol.


A woman on the move said...

He's a freaking retard.

He sounds like a bitter ass man, who's been dumped by a few black women (maybe women period).

He's got the game all twisted.

He's dismissed-thanks but no thanks!


aulelia said...

brilliant topic. i will be the first to say that i love seeing black-on-black couples together. i really do. but that doesnt mean that black women should not go out with white men or Indian men etc. Just as long as you are happy AND you are doing it for the right reasons in that you are not doing it to have light skinned kids etc.

The Mistress said...


I am totally out of the loop, when did you come back to blogging???!!!

Ah well, I'm so glad you did! I have to do some catching up...

Illaim said...

“These women are Hard Core Racists” lol

Ole Boy needs to hire a camera man

He makes a couple of points. but his call to arms is largely amusing

Off top when it comes to the treatment of women, no matter what racial pool a ladys potential partner derives from, she still most likey is going to haft to endure some issues.

While it is becoming more common for Black Women to date/ marry out side their race, they ( a “I love yall very much they lol) still are least likely out of the whole Black White Spanish, Male/ Female dynamic to do so.

I’d say such actions are clouded and influenced by different sexual and historical views

You rightly alluded to Black Women knowledge of a rarely if ever discussed past, even during reparations hearings, causing some black women to have an adverse reation to dating white men. True very true…

On the other hand…some black men flip that (wrongly) and actively pursue white women for revenge.

That’s just one in legion of thousands.

I can lend credence to the media, and Black self hate within the family, but bottom line the onus is on us as Black Males to show we love and respect our women, if we don’t want them to “leave”

I’m not caught up in zero some arguments that we as a whole are worst then Wahhabist, but in general, as with most people in all things, we could stand to improve our treatment and mental view of Black Women.

Personaly, I hold no grudge to Black Women who date outside their race, far to many people out here to focus hard on that. With this caveat tho. If they exclude themselves from black men, due to bias false hood and misguided anger, I’m not with that.

No matter ones race, I not down with a person who doesn’t give ones “own” a fair shot

I’m glad your going to devote two more post to this issue because, the conversation surrounding it could go on for eons.

Elle* said...

1) Glad you're back.
2) I seen that video a while back and at first I got upset, then I sat back and giggled. He's obvioulsy a very bitter man who has had issues with getting women and can't get over it. *sigh* Who anyone dates is their business, but I will admit, I have been known to give my girlfriends the sideways glances when I see Vanilla hottie with a Chocolate brother. It's not my place to make those judgements, anyway. If a brother/sister is with someone of another race because that's just who they happened to fall in love with, where's the shame in that? These self-hating people are who still incense me just a tad bit. But I tell myself if a brother hates himself that much, that he doesn't want to date anyone who looks like me, that's his problem and not mine.

Anonymous said...

That Larry guy is such a doughnut, what the hell is he on?!

Blu Jewel said...

I didnt know you were blogging again. I just stopped by on a humbug. Good to see you at work again.

I've dated outside of my race and have no qualms doing it. Men are men regardless of color and there's good and bad everywhere. I refuse to limit my dating options because the man I may be interested in isn't black.

I don't judge others who date in or out of their race as I see it as a personal choice. Dating white doesn't give you an automatic pass into Whitedom nor does it mean you're suddenly reached the ceiling. It does come with issues and drama, but it's all in how you deal with it.

I haven't been able to view the YouTube clip, but I'm sure this dude is an ass!

Through these eyes said...

Hey, thanks for ur comment. I'm back on now. :)

catwalq said...




Anonymous said...

personally, i dont have a problem with dating outside of my race. But i did meet a nigerian man recently who told me that" any black girl who dates a white man is a filthy dirty bitch, because all white men are filthy, dirty, they sleep with animals..amongst other things".
this guy had so much hatered that i could not even fathom having a conversation with him, he went ahead to tell me that the only reason why i would even consider dating a white man is because of a low self esteem. Needless to say that i never called him again,i`m still in shock. i know some men are all those things, but i also know that is irrespective of their color, ok, maybe some white men are stereotypically freaky..but hey...i do not discriminate on the basis of color, maybe height, reputation, bank account, level of intelligence,education...but race? Never.

sorry about the long comment, just had to add my own 2 cents.

Anonymous said...

I have been married to a white guy for two years now and we are always amazed at the dirty looks we get. We dated for over five years before getting married, and all through that period, I was told by various black men that I was making a huge mistake. Some even dared to imply that I was a prostitute for being with a white guy. It's pretty ridiculous how stupid and ignorant these people are! Anyway, I am happily married and don't really care what people think of our relationship!!

Acolyte said...

The problem with inter-racial dating is that there is alot of history behind it. I have nothing against people who date people because of who they are, what I have a problem with is people who say they only date from a certain race; this is because all they see is color and not character.
Let's keep it real, you cant type cast all black men and women there is always someone somewhere who goes against the grain.
But anyway this is an issue that isnt going to go away soon.

MsRebecca said...

I have that problem too, like acolyte stated.. The.. "I only date black this or white that" Very shallow way of thinking for people making choices on color alone.. I was adopted by a white family and grew up being the only black in my city, talk about controversy- I have more of an open mind because of my upbringing but this subject has been going around in circles for years with no real resolution.

S.A.G.E said...

passed by but i guess this stuff is too explicit for a young sun like me...lemme run off.

Golden Silence said...

Man! I wouldn't be surprised if that guy is the Tired Black Man. "Nothing comes from talkers but sound.---Tevin Campbell, "Round and Round" (Pretty much.)

I am open to interracial relationships and have no problem with others who do so. But it should be about the character of that person, not the race of that person, that makes them attractive to you.

afro jamaicano said...

my mum subscribes to ebony and i dont understand why! that magazine is lame!

date who u want and dont worry about what people say.

and no i hav not forgotten about u beauty in baltimore i've been visitng ur site weekly, just "lurking" and not commenting haha

Anonymous said...


BeautyinBaltimore said...

@anonymous 8:35- You made plenty of valid points.

Anonymous said...

I saw these two comments on Bella Naija’s comment page of “This day Concert” and I thought the whole world should know. I love Oprah and the rest of the Artists my aim is just to show Nigerians that it is time we start supporting our own people and make our own country better. Contrary to what Oprah thinks Nigerians are the smartest most intelligent people in this world.


Oprah Winfrey got it wrong

By Our Reader
Published by PUNCH NEWSPAPER: Thursday, 26 Jul 2007

Recently, America’s TV girl, Oprah Winfrey, called on America to sever diplomatic relationships with world’s topmost corrupt countries.

Worst of all the countries, Oprah surmised, is Nigeria.

According to her, “all Nigerians – regardless of their level of education – are corrupt.”

It is very pathetic that Oprah could ascribe to a larger population, the evil act of an insignificant number of persons in the world’s most populous black nation.

Oprah’s conclusion is based on the fact that a Nigerian of Igbo extraction was caught with $500,000, which was alleged to have been stolen from a foreigner through the Internet fraud popularly known as 419.

Oprah had sponsored an hour-long programme, which ran for several days on the CNN, with the sole aim of exposing the clever tricks espoused by this group of Nigerians to con their victims.

Much has been said about the greed of the victims themselves, and I need not say more about it.

However, at a time when Americans are committing heinous crimes against children and women, nobody has tagged all Americans as murderous.

So, why call all Nigerians rogues because of the sin of a few bad eggs?

Oprah regularly tells her life story: how she was sexually abused by close relations, how she ‘walked the streets’ (Americans’ euphemism for prostitution), etc., but nobody has ever deemed it fit to tag all American men as incestuous because of Oprah and others’ experiences.

She did drugs – just like the typical American teenager, but nobody has cast all American youths in the mould of drug abusers!

So, why should an individual that is supposed to know better sentence a nation to odium for the infraction of a tiny fraction of its population?

I urge Oprah and her likes to disabuse their minds about Nigerians.

Be wary of requests for money from strangers, and if you fall for a scam, blame your greed and not Nigerians.

Okoli Vitalis,
Ps: to the owners of the blog I’m sorry for invading your blog. I just felt we Nigerians need to let go of that inferiority complex of American things being way better than Nigerian’s. We need to make our stuff better too if we think it is not up to standard.

BeautyinBaltimore said...

@anonymous 4:00pm- I seriously doubt if Oprah said this. Give me a clip(youtube) to prove it.