Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Men are a trip

A few months ago I was waiting in line inside of Rite Aid (Baltimore&Charles st for b-more peeps). Rite Aid is a drug store similar to CVS and Wallgreens in other areas. Anyway, while I was standing in a very long line praying that the cashier would move faster because I don't want to stand there all day, a young man walks to the counter.
In his hands he had a forty ounce of some "kill a negro quick liquor" and a box a of EXTRA LARGE magnums( I shockedthey make them this big). Now of course my eyes bugged out after seeing the box of extra large magnums. I guess I was staring a little to long because I felt a pair of eyes burning a hole into my face. I looked up to find homeboy(Mr. E.L. Magnum) giving me one hell of a look. I guess that was his sexy look. I felt like he was trying to communicate telepathically with me. He was trying to tell me "girl let me put this extra large up on ya and turn you out" but instead the look on his face was more like I had some good weed and I'm about to fall asleep.
As you know I no longer have a desire for a big one(the swinger cured that) so I gave Mr. E.L. Magnum my mean mug and averted my gaze. I made sure that I did not look in his direction again because I did not want that fool chasing me down outside of the store to offer me a sample.

11 comments:

Amadeo said...

That is a hilarious moment...and one that makes me glad I'm not a woman. However it does make things harder for me as a man.

Golden Silence said...

In the old days, men treated women with flowers and candy. Nowadays men treat women with lame pick-up lines and loser-ass moves.

I feel for you amadeo. Losers like the guy beautyinbaltimore mentioned make it hard for the good guys to make moves. The more a woman gets approached by funky men, the more on guard she'll be (speaking from experience).

The shopaholic. said...

Cosigns on not wanting the big ones. The best sex I ever had was with an average guy.
Big men don't do it for me at all, I guess to each her own.

afro jamaicano said...
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afro jamaicano said...
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*snake*bite* said...

I will definitely be coming back to read more - funny stuff!

xXx

SOLOMONSYDELLE said...

Beauty - did your mama not teach you not to stare? You should know better living in the DMV area. That useless boy probably was thinking that you wanted his crusty behind. Sorry, girlfriend. You are lucky he didn't follow you down the street screaming useless nothings in your direction. EEEWWW!

Tasha said...

Too funny! How in the hell do you have XL Magnums?? I thought they were already XL and only came in one size.

You know he was probably buying them to try and use his "gold package status" to get someone in the line's number

Lola Gets said...

Yeah, I think men purchasing the alrger condoms do so with an air of arrogance - "Look what I can do!" Its best not to pay them much mind, lol.
L

M.Dot. said...

As you know I no longer have a desire for a big one(the swinger cured that) so I gave Mr. E.L. Magnum my mean mug and averted my gaze.
=========
Swingers have a way of doing that, don't they?

Wachu know about buying condoms @ the bodega & the cashier ask you if you want him to put them in the same bag w/ the yams and portabella's and Sapporo.

Im like yeah n*gga. He all embarassed.

Its just sex.

BOBBY said...

lollllllllllllllllllllllll