Sunday, December 31, 2006

Happy New Year's and My New Years resolutions

6. Find out why everyone else enjoys sex and I don't.
5. Get as close to a size zero as possible for my body type.
4. Get my Victoria's Secret(800.00) Macy's(900.00) and Capital One(300.00) credit cards down to a zero balance.
3. Save at least 3,000 dollars for emergencies.
2. Return to school for either a masters(social work) or a second bachelors degree(nursing).
1. Do some type of charity work.


Wednesday, December 27, 2006

A sick family member and my issues.

I've noticed that I have not opened up on this blog in the way that I thought I would have by now. I see that for some reason I am the type of person who refuses to loosen up even on an anonymous forum like this blog. Why, I don't know, maybe it is because I have a very difficult time opening up to even my closest friends. I mean I can give my opinion on issues of the day but truly opening up is something that I struggle with. Even sex, a topic that many bloggers shy away from, I can discuss/write about as if I am talking with my best friend. Maybe I am able to write about sex in the way that I do because I have such a strange, confused, and twisted relationship with the act itself.

Writing about my feelings on something that touches me far deeper, like a sick family member is very difficult for me. For the last few months my Grandmother has become (slightly) mentally unstable. It has only been within the last month that I became aware that my Grandmother has been suffering from delusions of being harmed by neighbors(she is not). For example, she turns of the gas in the house because she says that people are trying to gas her. A few days ago my mother told me that she refused to go sleep in her bedroom and instead sleep in a living room chair with a steak knife, a broom, a cane and a picture of Jesus by her side because she thought people were coming into the house to harm her. My Mother is now hesitant to allow my Grandmother to travel out of the house by herself because a day out with my uncle she said that people were following her and that someone at the restaurant tried to poison her orange juice.
Her hallucinations are the result of a small tumor in her brain. Her doctor has assured us that her hallucinations are not abnormal for someone with a brain tumor, and that they will only get worse with time. Because of her age doctors are hesitant to operate, the good news is that her tumor is benign. Still, I think if the tumor was removed maybe the Grandma that I have always known will return. I feel so lost seeing someone who I have always thought of as a pillar of strength mentally shift into a different person at times. I think that my Grandmother is now at the point where she is beginning to switch rolls with my Mother. This is all for now. Honestly, I feel uncomfortable digging this deep.

Saturday, December 23, 2006

Merry Xmas. Baltimore's top ten(the good).

1. Baltimore is located between two major cities: New York and Washington D.C. By train it takes about 2 1/2 hours to reach New York and 30 minutes to Washington D.C. This makes it very easy to take a day trip to either city.

2. Unlike other places(New York),it is highly unlikely that you will need a roommate well into middle age to help pay the rent. Baltimore's cheap cost of living is so good that many twenty year olds can afford to live by themselves. There are also a number of apartments in which all utilities are included with the rent.

3. If you like to exercise we have many gyms to choose from. There are also a number of bike paths for cyclers and runners. Baltimore also has a yearly marathon and many 5 and 10k races through out the year.

4. There are seven colleges within the Baltimore area. They are within 15 minutes of each other.

5. John Hopkins University, one of the most well known Universities in the country is located in Baltimore. John Hopkins University has offered free tuition and room and board(worth about 45,000 a year) for any graduate of Baltimore City Public schools who gains admission. John Hopkins is frequently listed in the top 15 colleges and Universities in the United States.

6. If you are ever suffering from a rare illness Baltimore is right city to be in. John Hopkins hospital, rated number hospital one in the world, is also located in Baltimore. This is the hospital where world renowned surgeon Benjamin Carson(a role model for all black people) works.

7. Baltimore is a very safe city if you are not involved with drugs. A very large percentage of the people who are killed in Baltimore are killed as a result of their involvement with drugs(both selling and using).

8. Baltimore has a very nice African-American museum. Unfortunately not enough black people visit it and those that do are not the people who really need to visit. They also need to find a way to get more white folks to visit(their money spends to).

9. Baltimore has demolished most of its old style housing projects(such an eye sore). In place of high and low rise projects, the city has built town houses for low income residents.

10. Baltimore votes overwhelmingly blue. The word Republican is a curse word in this city.

Merry Christmas everyone. If you have your health, you have the greatest gift of all.

Monday, December 18, 2006

My Saturday and Baltimore's public transportation(number 8 bus is horrible)

1. Public Transportation is a bitch. I'm really starting to hate it. I may go ahead and purchase a car because I am so sick of the bus. I would prefer not to since I would have to spend money that I prefer to save(Social Security won't be around for ever). Saturday I decided to go to Arundal Mills. Arundal Mills is a medium sized mall which has many outlet stores that I go to get some really good deals. Anyway, when I got on the number 8 bus to Downtown I see a big ass television sitting in the middle of the aisle. Yes, someone decided to bring a 24-26 inch television on the bus. Now I know I'm cheap but dag man, I guess homeboy didn't have any friends to give him a ride home. Was he to cheap to catch a cab. Imagine if he would of dropped that big ass television on someone while trying to exit the bus. Oh the pain, the pain I said.

2. In case you didn't know the number 8 is one of the worse buses to ride in Baltimore. It seems as if the worse of the worse rides that bus. The only good thing about it is that it runs fairly often, although not always on time. On this bus you come across a wide variety of people who live and work in Baltimore. One of the most memorable groups of people who ride this bus are the drug addicts. Sometimes they can take up to a quarter of the seats on the bus. Most of them sit in the very front of the bus or the very back of the bus. Looking at some of them you wonder why they are wasting their time going to a methadone clinic when they are clearly high before they even step foot inside of the clinic. The other addicts are people who are attempting to do the right thing with their lives but do to many years of hardcore drug abuse, the story of their past life will be forever etched onto their face in the form of bad skin, track marks and missing teeth.

3. A second group of riders of the number 8 bus are few scared worried looking white people who either missed the express or who are down on their luck and had to catch the local service of the number 8. Most of the time they sit very close to the front of the bus as if the bus driver is going to save them if something "gets to popping",yea right. Of this group maybe 10 percent get bold or have worked, are friends with black people and therefore are not as fearful as the bulk of white riders on this bus, and decide to sit in the back( not always wiggas).

4. The third group of people who ride this bus are black folks who have issues but their issues have not taken them where group number one's issues have taken them. This group frequently get on the bus smelling like cigarettes, cheap liquor and funk. I talking about somebody stinking so bad that the funk singes off the hairs in your nose. Man, some of these people stink so bad that you got to wrap your winter scarf around your face just so you can breathe. Otherwise, the strong stench coming from your seatmate may cause you to pass out and hit your head on the back of a germ ridden seat in which someone decided to declare their love for "lil Black forever" for all of us bus riders to see(like we care).

5. The final group of people who ride the number 8 bus are people like me. They are hard working people who can not afford a car, decide not to drive, they may not have a license, or are to young to drive. We bathe and we don't have any hardcore substance addictions for all the world to see.

Finally we reach downtown. I'm very happy because now I can get off the bus headed straight to funktown USA. I now transfer to the lightrail. Baltimore's lightrail is a train which runs on ground level. It is very similar to the streetcars in Toronto. The big difference is like Baltimore's subway, it only goes in two directions. I look at the bus schedule praying that I can make the number 17 bus because I only have 12 minutes to get to the stop. If I miss the bus that means I have to wait another hour for the next one and I am not in that type of mood today.

As the light rail pulls up to Patapsico(sp) station I see the bus sitting right there. I make a silent prayer that the bus does not pull off. Now you guys know that there are some smart ass bus drivers that will see someone running a hundred miles an hour and pull off as soon as the person gets in front on the door.
Thank God this driver was not that type of person. He decided to wait for all of the people getting off the light rail. Now this is the longest part of my journey to get to the mall. The bus ride is an entire hour. I try to read but I become a little nauseous because of all the twists and turns that this bus takes. So I decided to listen to the conversations of all of the people sitting near me instead. They were not so interesting so I tune them out and go into my own little world. Just as I am in the middle of a fantasy about a tall, muscular lover rocking my world guess what happens.

Some smelly dude gets on the bus and sits right in front of me. The guy looked Eastern European I so wanted to ask him if it was okay for him to smell like this in his homeland. If not, them why the hell did he think I wanted to smell his funk. When I say he smelled, I mean he sssssmmmeeellleedd. His funk was a combination of smelly underarms, cheese steak with extra onions, and dirty ass. The good thing was I only had to ride with him for the last twenty minutes of the bus ride.
Once I got to the mall I was soooo very very happy. I found two pairs of shoes which I really wanted. The best part was I got the second pair for half off. I love shoes but have definitely slowed down on my spending for them. I tried to promise myself that I would not have more than a bakers dozen at any time. There are to many people in the world without one pair of shoes so why should I own 50 or more pairs of shoes.
I also saw two people that I went to High school with. I was very happy about that because I had not seen either person since high school graduation. I got the phone number and email address of both so I can keep in contact with both of them.
I looked in the other stores but did not find anything that I needed although I saw plenty that I liked. I headed to the food court where I went Popeyes and had some of their deep fried poison. It was pretty good although it had my chest buying as if someone had thrown a stick of dynamite down my throat 30 minutes after eating it. I guess it will be no more of that junk for me for a long time.
I was ready to leave so I went outside to board my bus which takes me back to the lightrial. When I got to the lightrail stop I happened to come upon a mentally disabled man who decided that I should be his date for New Years. I had to tell him that I was not feeling very well because I fell and hit my hand and face(lie). He offered to kiss it, and make it better for me. I said no thanks and got the hell away from him.
Finally, the lightrail comes and I hop on. As I am waiting for the train to pull off a group of four manages to make it on the train before it is able to pull off. The group contained three women(?) and a effeminate man. As the train started to pull off they begin to show their ghetto ways.
One of the girls started to complain about a mutual friend that they had who liked to smoke up all of the weed and cigarettes but never brought any of her own. This chick went on and on about how she likes to get high and how it upsets her that she buys weed and the other young lady(?) never brings anything for them to get high on.
Now the entire time that they sat around singing the praises of weed, there were two white people sitting across from them. I can only imagine what was going threw there minds as they listened to this group of idiots brag/praise their drug habit. The chick went on to tell her friends(?) about her new boyfriend who happened to be a drug dealer who sells WEED and CRACK. From the lady's(?) story her new boyfriend is following in the steps of his father because he is also a street pharmacist .
Thank God my stop came up next before she went into their sex life(although I think I would have really liked to hear that). I hoped off the train and walked down the street to catch my final bus which I am happy to report was not as bad or eventful as my trip on the same bus earlier that day. I made it home in one piece. I'm tired, good night.

Monday, December 11, 2006

Baltimore top ten(The bad)

You know you are in Baltimore when:

1. 10 percent of the population has a heroin addiction. Baltimore has a population of about 500,000 and 50,000 heroin addicts. The 50,000 thousand does not include the number of people who are addicted to crack, ecstasy, weed(yes, there are people here who are addicted to weed)etc... I guess we should be happy that crystal meth has not made its way here yet. When(hopefully never) that happens then, this city will really be in trouble.

2. The public schools here suck. If you have a child and you want that child to know something beyond Jay Z's latest song you must pay for private school. Its as if those in charge are making it a priority to make sure there is a perpetual underclass here.

3. Public transportation sucks. We have three types of public transportation here: the bus, subway(metro),and the light rail. The subway only serves one side of town. The light rail and the subway only cross paths at two stops both within a block of each other. The bus is frequently late and as slow as all get out.

4. The rent is cheap(most of time). Don't worry you will spend any extra money that you save because of the cheap rent on a car because Baltimore's public transportation drives 60% of people batty after a while.

5. Home prices have begun to soar in parts of Baltimore because many people come here to flip houses. Thereby, making it harder to poor and working class people to ever be able to afford to purchase a home.

6. People here lack a sense of personal style. To many people here think that wearing a bunch of logos is stylish. If you wear anything like this you will probably get weird looks on the streets of Baltimore.

7. 85% of the young males here have a uniform that they wear all day, everyday: long white tee, Timberland boots, and dark jeans.

8. We have a large number of hipsters here. I notice that their style is rubbing off on a number of black people too(teens and 20-somethings). I am guilty of hipster style.

9. We have a large number of very big overweight people. It all almost seems like all of the obese people drove in overnight. The obesity rates are particularly astonishing in poor black neighborhoods where there are more fastfood places than supermarkets,clinics, drugstores and boutiques combined. Fast food/junk food is to African-Americans what alcohol is to Native Americans.

10. Sex in Baltimore is dangerous. I guess that is why I am holding back on my undiscovered freak. In a few studies Baltimore has been number one in various STD infections. There is an area of Baltimore where many of the young men have no problem sleeping with a woman who has HIV. Yes you read it right, no problem at all, as long as you don't look sick, they are willing to do the do.
Don't worry, Baltimore has some good points also. I will write about those next week.

Friday, December 08, 2006

Model of the Month

Ajuma Nasanyana
Look at her, many people have a big problem with an African woman who possesses this type of beauty. It is a shame that we must look to the world of high fashion to give a sister who looks like this a moment to shine . I have to give it to her, not only does she have a lovely face with features which are associated with West African beauty in contrast to her East African background(Kenya), but she also has a body to die for. Her body is perfectly proportioned.

If you saw the recent Victoria secret Fashion show a few nights ago Ajuma was one of three black models featured in the show. She is getting a lot of work in both runway and editorial. I think she is the heir apparent of Alek Wek .

p.s. I have decided to make model of the month a regular feature.

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

I've been tagged

My girl, Overwhelmed tagged me

Five thing you don't know about me:

1. I love four inch stilettos. I think they make a woman's legs look very nice. The problem is I can not walk in them.

2. I always seem to fall in love(maybe a strong like) with gay men. I can't explain it, maybe it is because I don't like to really deal with true/deep love and all the messy stuff.

3. As much as I like to read academic works, I have a soft spot for ghetto novels. I have a deep fascination with the stories that street authors write. I don't know why I just do. Maybe it is because I grew up in the hood but still led a pretty sheltered life.

4. After the swinger, I decided that size does not matter as much. At times it felt like that man was trying to spilt me apart, and that was when he was being gentle.

5. Whenever I go shopping I always pick up the size 0, and wonder how it would be to so slim that I can wear the smallest size.

Sunday, December 03, 2006

Stop Toming part 2

Read this
Unfortunately, to many black people have no problem putting on a modern day minstrel show for the world to see. The sad thing is, it seems to be selling records, DVD, and movie tickets in a major way. When will black entertainers realize that "they" are not laughing with you but at you.
At least Dave Chappelle woke up, but only after he put on one hell on minstrel show for two seasons. The first time I watched his show I found a few of his skits amusing, but most of Chapelle's skits and jokes I found very offensive. When I would talk to other black people about The Chappelle show, many of them could not understand how some portions of is show is offensive to African-Americans (and all black people for that matter).
One thing that I've realized about human beings in my short time on this earth is that most don't like to think. Most people prefer to do the minimal amount of thinking, even those who are academically gifted are guilty of not using their brain. Maybe this is why so many black people particularly the young, do not give thought to how they are embarrassing their people when they make fools(example:50 cent,T.I, Lil Kim) out of themselves for a dollar.
Black people have had the worst History in the last few hundred years than any other race of people on earth. So many blacks in Africa and throughout the diaspora have fought so hard so that we, today's blacks , could live a life in which we are seen as human beings not wild animals.
That is why it is so maddening to see so many blacks today accepting "the Flava-Flava guide to life" as the Bible.