Thursday, September 28, 2006

I got a date

this weekend. He is a Naija man,and he is much shorter than me(he 5'4 & I 5'8) .Thank God this guy has his greencard so we will not have any of that foolishness like the last time. I guess I will try to make the best of it. The last time we agreed to meet "little man" never showed. He said I frightened him when I told him to come alone. Yea whatever, I think he was just to nervous to meet me in person.

Tuesday, September 26, 2006

Getting busy on a bench

in broad day light. No, I did not have sex outside, but I saw a couple getting it on without a care in the world. I was at work and decided to take a look outside of a window. I saw two couples sitting on the benches across from my building. One couple seemed to be totally engrossed in whatever conversation they were having. The second couple seemed to laying mighty close.
As I looked, I noticed that the woman from the second couple had her head on the man's chest very close to his waist. He had a jacket on his lap, I guess in attempt to hide their actions. I was unsure if I was seeing what I thought I was seeing. I called a co-worker to the window and asked "Do you see the man with the bald head?" She said yes, but before I could ask her if she knew what the couple was up to, she yelled "what are they doing". I told her I'm trying to figure out myself. About 10 seconds later we noticed the woman's head begin to move. We were like-oh-my-God.. The funny thing was, the other couple had no idea what was happening right beside them on the next bench. They were so into their conversation that they didn't notice the guy taking a trip to "toe curling" ecstasy. Anyway, the woman continued to blow the man for a few minutes more, until another group of people came around.
The man must of decided to blow his top before the newcomers began to notice because the man got up to put his shirt back into his pants. The woman(?) never spit, so I guess she swallowed(yuck). Not only that, but after he fixed his clothes the guy pulled out a cigarette and proceeded to smoke. I figured that must of been one hell of a BJ to make him smoke a cigarette.
I'm just amazed that people are so willing to have sex in the open when there are cameras everywhere now days. You have no idea who may be watching you. I sure wish I had a video camera on me. I would of taped those freaks, and sold it to one of the DVD companies that specialize in "sex outside with normal people" porn/documentaries/movies. As freeky as I think I may be (deep down inside) there are just some things I can not do and this was one.

Saturday, September 23, 2006

My purchases for Fall.

I sooooo want this bag or maybe this one instead. Thats right I'm a Juicy lady. To bad I was not able to stay juicy for the Swinger longer than 10 minutes . That was probably a sign that I was not very impressed with his bedroom skills. I am also going to purchase these gloves, they are so luxurious . I love these shoes but I've been looking at them for about two years, so I guess I should splurge on them as a treat for myself.

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

I'm a Brazilian Woman!

You have no idea how the number of guys who I've told I am from Brazil. It is so funny to see their reactions. Some men will become so excited when they here this. I think I go from an eight to ten simply by uttering that I am from Brazil. Am I really from Brazil, no, but I like to change my identity when I am meeting someone new(usually a man) at times. It is so interesting to see their reactions based on where I say I am from. I have also been known to say I am from Ethiopia from time to time. That seems to pull them too, but nothing makes them want to lick my feet like saying I am from Brazil.
I once told a Naija guy who tried to date me that I am from Brazil. Man, was old boy happy. He went around telling or should I say bragging to his friends that he had a Brazilian woman. He was hella angry when I told him that I am really African-American(I left out the Nigerian blood). I mean he screamed and shouted about my "lie" like it was the worst thing on earth. I could think of things that I could of lied to him about, that are ten times worst. I notice that African-American men in particular have a fascination with Brazilian women. I think it has only grown more intense since many rap videos are now shot with Brazilian women as the "bootyshakers" of the week.
In the September or August issue of Essence magazine their was an article about African-American men who travel to Brazil to have sex with Brazilian prostitutes. All of the men talked about the extraordinary beauty of Brazilian women. One guy mentioned that he liked having a table full of dimes(10s) give him so much of attention and treat him like a king. A few other men talked about how much they enjoyed not having to lift a finger in the house(cooking and cleaning) and how Brazilian women know how to be "women". I have a question, why do men think women are suppose to do all of the cooking and cleaning. Why can't they lift a finger to help. It is hard for many women to do all of the house work when they have to work a 40 hour week just as their husband does. Why can't the husband help out. A number of the men talked about the fact that they did not have to deal with the whining and nagging that they received from American women. Many of the men interviewed were married or had girlfriends. Ladies, if your man tells you that he is taking a trip to Brazil, don't let him go without you. Although, some of the guys talked about using condoms the author of the article mentioned that many of the women have had children with African-American men.
A number of the prostitutes who were interviewed basically said that they made more money selling "booty" than what they would make at a nine to five. Some of the women had children who they needed to take care of, and since there was no husband around, they chose to make quick money selling their bodies. One of the women bragged about how she can call up a few of her prior customers and get money whenever she needs it .
I think the article made the African-American men interviewed look childish and spoilt. Can they not see that these women are just using them. Maybe they can but, I've come to realize that men are so easy to get along with, for the most part they don't require much just some good pu#$y, good food, and you need to be willing to listen to problems + give him a pat on the back and tell him that everything will be okay. If you can do those four things you will have him(to an extent) and, that is why the prostitutes in Brazil are so successful with African-American men.

This is the video that started the obsession with Brazil in the hip hop community.

Friday, September 15, 2006

September 11 vs. Hurricane Katrina

Why is it that some people are writing letters to Newspapers and Magazines saying that they are sick of hearing about the survivors of hurricane Katrina. Are these same people sick of hearing about September 11. Is this a case of the victim Olympics.
Katrina- 1 year ago vs. September 11- 5 years ago.
I think we know what is behind this.

Thursday, September 14, 2006

You might be a Bougie Black person if

1. You detest movies like Soulplane and White chicks.
2. You graduated(or at least made a serious attempt) to get a college degree.
3. You are a black Republican.
4. You have heard of and are familiar with Neiman Marcus, Saks Fifth avenue, and Bergdorf Goodman.
5. You have good or decent credit.
6. You have been called an oreo by other black people.
7. White people frequently tell you one of the following:"You are so articulate" "You are very intelligent" "You are different"
8.You love Sex in the City and/or Girlfriends.
9. You have natural hair and can defend your choice to abstain from the creamy crack(relaxer).
10.You have read about or practiced religions other than Islam and Christianity.
11. You have read the Miseducation of the Negro by Carter G. Woodson.
12. You know that Manolo Blahnik, Christian Louboutain and Jimmy Choo are not some good looking men, but fabulous shoe artists.
13. You look at and enjoy foreign films.
14. You have studied a foreign language.
15. You are a vegetarian.
16. You workout regularly and believe in taking care of your body.
17. You are familiar with spices and seasonings beyond salt,pepper and ketchup.
18. You enjoy going to Museums.
19. You like to drink Wine and Champagne besides Crystal(spell).
20. You are a black woman who has dated outside of your race.
21. You have lived and/or studied in a foreign country.
22. You are a black woman who can pay her own bills. You do not have sex with men so that they can pay your rent or to get your hair and nails done.
23. You use some form of birthcontrol when engaging in sexual activity.
24. You enjoy eating different types of international cuisine
. No chicken boxes and cheese steaks for you.
25. You can wear an outfit from H&M and make it look like Chanel Couture.
26. Some people think you are eccentric.
27. You think that entertainers of today have nothing on
Diahann Carrol and Eartha Kitt .
28. Whenever you see Ghetto Girls performing(acting a fool) in public your blood boils.
29. You think actress Genevieve Nnaji is the most beautiful woman in Nigeria and Omotola has nothing on her.

9 or less- You are little Bougie but at times you still have your ghetto moments. For example, you lick your fingers after eating sushi.
10-18- My dear, no one would know that you come from such humble beginnings. You can hang out with any crowd and feel like you are in your element.
19 or more- Please put down the Vogue magazine. You are so well versed in the ways of the upper class, that you make people from the old moneyed blue blood families look like trailer trash. You must learn how to relate to the common folk.

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

Names and Tattoos

What is up with women tattooing their babies daddies names on their breast. I saw a chic with three different male names on one breast. Imagine what goes through her new boyfriend's mind when he is sucking her nipple and looks up to see the names of a few people who hit it before he did. WTF

Tuesday, September 12, 2006

You might be a wigga if?

1. When you see the brothers from the Nation of Islam you run over to get a bean pie and a Final Call newspaper. Dude, I guess you have not read the NOI's thoughts on white people.
You are in your car and you pull up beside some white folks playing heavy metal and your first thoughts are, those people no nothing about good music.
3.On your first day of high school you try to find a table to sit at in the cafeteria, you look around, suddenly you see the table with all of the black kids and you take your tray to sit with them.
You are walking down the street late at night, and you spot a group of young black men. Instead of crossing the street like most white people would, you walk up to them and say "what's up bro" and try to give each man a pound(handshake).
5. When they beat your ass you think they were just showing you love. No idiot they just gave you a beat down.
6. You have naturally curly hair(Justin Timberlake or Jew fro) and you refuse to cut it down because you think that "the man" should learn to accept you and all your "Africaness".
7. You are a white woman and you have lips like Angelina Jolie or Julia Roberts and you love to wear that cheap dollar store gloss to show off their fullness. Honey, that lip gloss makes you look like you are advertising(if you know what I mean).
You refuse to date another white person.
You are a white woman and you think it is impossible for a black man to have a small one.
10. You are a white woman with a round ass(hey Delicious) and you love to show it off. You put that extra strut in your walk when a black man is around and you like to stand next to black women with small butts to show off. I had a white girl do this to me once. Maaannn, I wanted to give her a beat down.
11. Whenever you talk to a black person you speak in a blackcent(black accent)or slang. Buckwild(FOL) I'm talking to you.
12. You even speak slang to your black doctor who grew up in the Midwest as the only black person in his town who is the son of black republicans . Ignorant ass, all black people do not speak ebonics, slang and or Gullah, stop that shit
13. You think that all black people who do not speak ebonics or slang are oreos. Noooo, their parents may have required them to speak standard English so that they would have it easier in mainstream America. They can not switch back and forth like you and find acceptance.
14. You spend a lot of time in the tanning spa to make your skin a light shade of brown( a la Beyonce) so you can pass as mixed.
15. Your a white man with a big one and whenever you look down at yourself you give a silent thanks for "the one drop rule".
16. You only listen to rap music preferably gangsta rap, any other type of music is not black music. Ever hear of Living Color?
17. If you are a white girl who will not date a black boy unless he is thuggish. Any other type of black man just wants to be white.
18. You only read street lit books because they tell the "true" tale of blacks living in America. No, my dear they do not. They tell the story of a small segment of the population. Try "The Black Middle Class" by Ellis Cose and "Our Kind Of People" by Otis Graham for a change.
19. You decided to attend a HBCU because you wanted to be around your people, free from the white man's control. I guess you haven't met your professors yet
20. You rock cornrolls.
20. You wear a grill. Yes, you Paulwall
21. You say the word nigger, nigga, niggah(same difference) without the least bit of guilt or fear in a room full of black people. You will soon disappear homie

7 or less - You watch to much MTV.
8-13- You have forgotten who you are, you need help immediately.
14 or more- You are on the top ten list of the grand wizard of the KKK.

Friday, September 08, 2006

Abortion Clinic

I recently went to an abortion clinic with someone. Since I've come of age I have always been pro-choice for myself and everyone else. After going to the clinic I've begun to reconsider my position. There were about 8-10 women in the clinic that day to have the procedure. I was happy to see that only one woman was by herself. Before I arrived at the clinic, I thought that I would see a room full of lonely crying women who felt uncomfortable and sick with regret about their decision to abort their fetus/baby .
That was not the case, many of the women felt totally fine with their decision. In fact, one woman walked out of the surgical area, and the first thing she said to her boyfriend was "I'm ready to go eat". I thought to myself well damn, was it really that easy. The boyfriend of "lets eat" woman took it upon himself to make fun of the one lady who was there by herself. He could not understand why she had no friends,boyfriend or family with her for support.She was also of Middle Eastern or Indian decent, so culture may have played a role in why she was in the clinic by herself, but he was a Ghetto Boy so you know he could not think that deep(within 4 hours homeboy hit at least 15 of 40) . I took it upon myself to explain to him that she may have been a victim of rape. I then asked him if he thought a rapist would accompany his victim to get an abortion. Luckily he was able to see things from my point of view and backed off of the woman.

The one incident that made me rethink my view on abortion occurred when one young woman walked back into the waiting area after having the procedure with a very,very,very sad expression all over her face. When she went outside, she proceeded to break down and cried her heart out. I imagined myself in her shoes, and I could see that I may have behaved in the same manner if I were in her shoes. One thing that will never change with me is the fact that no matter how I may feel about abortion for myself, I am prochoice for everyone else. Although, I would prefer if people not use abortion as a form of birth control. I am aware of two people who have had 9-10 abortions each, yes your eyes are not fooling you 9-10 each.

I know that many women are completely prochoice until they find themselves facing an unplanned pregnancy. Then they suddenly find themselves questioning abortion. I've always said that I would not have a baby with a man if I was not in a loving marriage in which the man was not willing to do his share of childcare duties(changing pampers,babysitting,feedings etc..). I don't know anymore, I think I may be changing a little. That said, I think the likelihood(I hope) of me being in that position is very slim since I use bithcontrol AND condoms. Honestly, I just don't know how I feel about being in the shoes of one of women in the clinic.

Wednesday, September 06, 2006

You might be a Ghetto Boy if? Yea, Bill Cosby is coming for you.

1.) You think being a pimp is a good career option. No dumb ass, pimps are next to the lowest scum on earth. They only rank higher than child molesters and people who recruit child soldiers.

2.) You think the fact that you have a big D#$k is enough to keep a woman. I'm afraid its not, you need to connect with her on a emotional level too.

3.) You think the only way sex is good for a woman is if you try to bang her brains out. If the woman walks like a cowboy after an encounter with you it was NOT good.

4.) The only pet name you can think of for your girlfriend or wife is boo. Is she a ghost.

5.) You don't think getting oral sex from another man is homosexual/bisexual behavior. Think again.

6.) You find drag queens attractive, but view yourself as straight as 6 o'clock. Yea, ok.

7.) You don't want to use condoms because "it does not feel the same" although you live in an area where a large number of people are infected with HIV and other STDS. Aids does not feel good either my dear.

8.) You think abortion is an acceptable form of birthcontrol.

9.) Or you don't believe in abortion, yet you never stay around to raise your children. You think a woman should be happy to carry your seed. Forgetting the fact that you probably won't be around by the time the child turns 5(jail,graveyard, or another woman).

10.) You like to brag about how many children you have with x amount of women. At the same time, you take care of none of them.

11.) If have children with more than 2 different women. Stop spreading it around bro.

12.) You complain about the white man keepin you down, but you don't know the year that slavery ended(1865). Actually, you know very little about black history accept Martin Luther King was a freedom fighter and at one time we were slaves.

13.) When someone mentions Africa you think that it is like those old Tarzan movies. You also think Africa is a country, no my dear its a continent and Africans do not speak a language called African.

14.) You think that anyone with a Caribbean accent is from Jamaica. There are other islands in the Caribbean besides Jamaica(Bahamas, Haiti, Cuba, and Barbados to name a few).

15.) You think African-Americans were the only people to be held in slavery in the western hemisphere. Sweetie, the blacks from South America and the Caribbean were all slaves at one point.

16.) You want your next baby's mother to have "good hair". What is good hair?

17.) You think light skinned black people are more attractive than darker complexioned black people. Just because.

18.) Although you are as dark as night you think your blue contacts make you more attractive.

19.) You can't stand the sight of a black woman with natural hair.

20.) You will date ANY type of woman besides a black woman.

21.) When you first meet a woman you like to mention your stint in prison with nostalgia written all over your face.

22.) Besides abortion you think, "pulling out" is a good method of birthcontrol. Pre-come my dear, pre-come.

23.) You claim to hate gold diggers yet you like to pull out your fat knot of money when you are around a woman you find attractive. You are attracting bees with honey son.

24.) You drive a luxury car (BMW or Jaguar for example) and live in your mothers basement. Classic.

25.) You pay for everything with a moneyorders or cash. Hey bro, those check cashing lines are simply to long sometimes. Get a checking account, much easier and fewer fees too.

26.) You work one job(maybe even part-time) while your woman works two jobs, and she still comes home and does all of the house work because you refuse to. According to you cooking and cleaning is a woman's job. Well working tw0 jobs is a man's job sir.

27.) You drive your woman's car(you are unemployed) all day while she works two jobs and attends classes all while she is seven months pregnant.

28.) You think a woman should take care of her man totally(work, cook. clean, bath him etc..) You are not a baby, be a man.

29.) You Like to brag about the time(s) you were shot or robbed. This shit is not glam.

30.) You offer to take a woman on a date, and have no money to pay for dinner.

31.) You date white women, but only white women with natural blonde hair. The dark haired dark eyed white woman remind you of light-skinned black women tooooooooo much.

32.) The most unattractive and overweight white woman is better than Halley Berry on any day of the week.

33.) On the rare occasions that you will date a dark skinned black woman her butt must be so big that it turns the corner 10 minutes after she does.

34.) Someone stepping on your new shoes is a good reason to fight.

35.) There is a fire in your house. You can only save one thing . You decide to grab your new Jordons. The hell with your family, personal identification cards or high school diploma. You must be fresh to death every day.

36.) If you make it through high school its a miracle.Your mother has the holly ghost at the ceremony because she can't believe your wild ass has made it this far. God forbid if you got a Masters degree , she may become so excited that she does back flips across the stage.

37.) You hate to read. For example, you would rather sign a contract than read it first.

38.) You think it is smarter to buy a fancy car than by a house. No dear, a car depreciates in value, a house does the opposite.

39.) You say your father didn't raise you so why should you raise your own children.

40.) You call all women besides your mother a bitch, and you have no problem calling yourself a Nigger(oh my bad nigga). You are so down you even let that "cool" white boy call you nigger. Hello, do I have to tell you how wrong this is. That "cool" white boy told me to tell you he wants to take you on another boat trip, don't mind the shackles they act as seat belts .

If you can answer 14 or more with a yes than you are indeed a Ghetto Boy.

Monday, September 04, 2006

Things to see and look at.

Please rent the DVD/VHS "The Boys of Baraka". It is a documentary about a group of young men from Baltimore who go to Kenya to live and attend school for one year. In the documentary you see the young men leaving their impoverished Baltimore homes to embark on a new though temporary life in Kenya. Please pick it up.

I think I finally found where I can find my sugar daddy .

Saturday, September 02, 2006

Nigerian People

who I may have offended, please know that I apologize if I offended you with the terms Green Card Gary or NWG(Nigerian Without A Green Card). While visiting another blog, I noticed that someone referred to African-American musician John Legend as an Acata. For all my African-American readers this is a word Nigerians often use as a nickname for African-Americans. It is a very negative name, it translates to wild animal. Well, I responded that Acata is a very negative name, and I don't think it is something African-Americans should be called. Lo and behold, someone(who called themselves ???) wrote that I had the nerve to talk because of the terms NWG and GCG. Well I made it known that in no way were the terms I used as negative as Akata. Anyway, as I said earlier, I apologize to those I may have offended. y

Friday, September 01, 2006

Baby Pampers( and public places)+ The Swinger + A new Job(?)

Man you all will not believe what I had the pleasure to witness today. I went to the Popeyes in Mondawmin Mall( You can find all of Baltimore's Gheeto celebrities here) and saw a Ghetto Girl changing her child's pamper at the table. I almost said something,but I just caught myself in time. Wow, how the hell could anyone be so dam trashy,that is why they put changing stations in the ladies room. Who the hell wants to sit down to their meal and smell a hot side of baby piss and shit.

The Swinger texted me yesterday. He asked why he had not heard from in some time. I told him I texted him the day before(lie). He asked if I was free any day this week. I told him not this week(lie). So he then asked if I had found someone else or if I didn't want to sleep with him again. I assured him that I had not found no one new, but wasn't sure if I should tell him that I don't think I will sleep with him again.

I went on a job interview today. I hope I get the job. I could sure use the money. If would help me so much because I am SO broke right now. I guess I better get on that Kayne West Workout Plan so I can catch a baller. Oh Lord, was I tempted to pull a Carie Bradshaw and spend my rent money( on a bag -Juicy Couture).

That all for now.